Monday, December 28, 2009

The Eternal Guy Debate...

Over the Christmas holiday, my cousin and I got into one of those quintessential rites of manhood which involves great quantities of beer, a few shots of Jamieson's, and naturally, sex.

Not with each other, of course.

No, we got into the Great Debate. The Discussion to End all Discussions. The one thing men can argue about passionately that doesn't involve batting averages, steroids, or the finer points of tuning up a Pontiac GTO.

The whole, sordid question of "The Top Ten Hottest Chicks...Ever."

Now, for you ladies, I must explain a few things. First, we're simply obsessed with sex, even when we say we aren't. We can't help it; our brains are hardwired to automatically evaluate every piece of womenfolk that passes for a mating opportunity. It's why we stare at women who pass us on the street while we're walking arm-and-arm with you. We can't help it. It's a biological response very often beyond our control.

Second, we like arguing, and we'll argue about anything.

Third, you have to understand that the Category "Top Ten Hottest Chicks" is rather too broad a category for us, because we'll invariably include the slut from High School who did the things the other girl's wouldn't, or the bartender with no gag reflex that we know, but no one else knows her, so they can't evaluate your choices. So, we have to refine the category, and so we pared it down to the Top Ten Hottest Chicks from Movies and TV, but one proviso; neither Ginger nor Maryann from Gilligan's Island could be on the list.

Those two are another debate entirely, and one which often leads to fistfights.

So, here's my list (in descending order, and it probably shows my age, too);

10. Sean Young (the ultimate bad girl)
9. Cybil Shepperd
8. Terri Garr
7. Jill St. John
6. Jaclyn Smith
5. Goldie Hawn
4. Kate Hudson (have to get that Mother-Daughter thing in there someplace).
3. Racquel Welch
2. Barbara Eden

and the All-Time Hottest Babe,

1. Selma Hayek

Honorable Mention: Farrah Fawcett-Majors, Phoebe Cates, and Drew Barrymore.

Ladies, discuss my sickness. Gentlemen, chime in with your additions/comments. I'll keep a six pack chillin'.


Anonymous said...

Ah yes, the eternal Ginger vs. Maryann debate. It's a guy thing, I'm told, kind of like the Three Stooges.

Selma Hayek--Hillary's "aide"??? Rumor had it during the (really, really long) 08 election that she played for the other team. Of course, that might not matter in a hard-core listing.--Evelyn

Matthew said...

In this sort of debate, politics doesn't even enter into the decision. We're just talking hawt babes you'd give a vital organ to get nekkid with.

Anonymous said...

I see.

Greasywrench said...

Now Matthew, I definitely would get behind Selma Hayek (pun intended) after seeing from Dusk Til Dawn. She gave me a taste for Tequila and toe sucking.

Of all things subjective, Art, Sports, Music, and Women are at the top of a very short list. I see you have a "taste" for blondes. Personally I go for the brunettes but your list ain't too bad if I do say so myself.

My personal all-time favorite is the late Natalie Wood. What a tragedy and a waste that we lost her so soon. The frosting on the cake was she WAS a pretty good actress. Raquel Welch is also hot at the advanced age of...who cares?

Matthew said...

I actually have a thing for redheads and brunettes, and I had not noticed that my list was heavy on blonds....that is surprising, I must say.

Wonder what that says about me, pyschologically (as opposed to what my doctors all told me...heh).

And if you haven't seen Selma in Banditas, you've missed something special (the lingerie scene with Penelope word!).

Matthew said...

And yes, Natalie Wood was a genuine beauty.