Over the Christmas holiday, my cousin and I got into one of those quintessential rites of manhood which involves great quantities of beer, a few shots of Jamieson's, and naturally, sex.
Not with each other, of course.
No, we got into the Great Debate. The Discussion to End all Discussions. The one thing men can argue about passionately that doesn't involve batting averages, steroids, or the finer points of tuning up a Pontiac GTO.
The whole, sordid question of "The Top Ten Hottest Chicks...Ever."
Now, for you ladies, I must explain a few things. First, we're simply obsessed with sex, even when we say we aren't. We can't help it; our brains are hardwired to automatically evaluate every piece of womenfolk that passes for a mating opportunity. It's why we stare at women who pass us on the street while we're walking arm-and-arm with you. We can't help it. It's a biological response very often beyond our control.
Second, we like arguing, and we'll argue about anything.
Third, you have to understand that the Category "Top Ten Hottest Chicks" is rather too broad a category for us, because we'll invariably include the slut from High School who did the things the other girl's wouldn't, or the bartender with no gag reflex that we know, but no one else knows her, so they can't evaluate your choices. So, we have to refine the category, and so we pared it down to the Top Ten Hottest Chicks from Movies and TV, but one proviso; neither Ginger nor Maryann from Gilligan's Island could be on the list.
Those two are another debate entirely, and one which often leads to fistfights.
So, here's my list (in descending order, and it probably shows my age, too);
10. Sean Young (the ultimate bad girl)
9. Cybil Shepperd
8. Terri Garr
7. Jill St. John
6. Jaclyn Smith
5. Goldie Hawn
4. Kate Hudson (have to get that Mother-Daughter thing in there someplace).
3. Racquel Welch
2. Barbara Eden
and the All-Time Hottest Babe,
1. Selma Hayek
Honorable Mention: Farrah Fawcett-Majors, Phoebe Cates, and Drew Barrymore.
Ladies, discuss my sickness. Gentlemen, chime in with your additions/comments. I'll keep a six pack chillin'.