Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Mercy, Please!
Watching Obama's speech. First thing that struck me was that for the first time in two years, SOMETHING wasn't George W. Bush's fault. Obama came out and said those words which must have hurt more than a double root canal without anesthetic, executed via the rectum:
"I take responsibility..."
The rest of the Speech makes it perfectly clear that he still believes that we're all clueless dolts who were just too darned impatient for our good, and then followed up with a rambling diatribe about"Energy Policy", never once mentioning the words "Drill". Whatever else might happen, Obama is not going to give up on Cap and Trade. Someone still hasn't learned their lesson, methinks.
The rest of the speech went something like this:
"Blah, blah, blah...blah,blabbity-bloobity, blah blah, blah..."
Even the customary Washington Press Corps Q&A was boring, and indicative that no one who should knows just what the fuck happened to Obama last night. Including him.
All I could hear during this hour-plus gabfest was that Obama still doesn't get it, and that he's probably set to dig his heels in deeper. Get your popcorn ready; this one's gonna be good.
"I take responsibility..."
The rest of the Speech makes it perfectly clear that he still believes that we're all clueless dolts who were just too darned impatient for our good, and then followed up with a rambling diatribe about"Energy Policy", never once mentioning the words "Drill". Whatever else might happen, Obama is not going to give up on Cap and Trade. Someone still hasn't learned their lesson, methinks.
The rest of the speech went something like this:
"Blah, blah, blah...blah,blabbity-bloobity, blah blah, blah..."
Even the customary Washington Press Corps Q&A was boring, and indicative that no one who should knows just what the fuck happened to Obama last night. Including him.
All I could hear during this hour-plus gabfest was that Obama still doesn't get it, and that he's probably set to dig his heels in deeper. Get your popcorn ready; this one's gonna be good.
Election 2010: Some Thoughts...
I still have to think some more about the implications of the"historic" Republican "victory" in yesterday's mid-term elections, so I'm going to put down some general observations right now, and then come back to the subject later this afternoon (after I watch Obama's Plea for Mercy speech this afternoon).
The Good:
* Alan Grayson, a thoroughly despicable waste of gametes, lost his Congressional seat in Florida. If there was anything that stood out from yesterday's results as the both the Best Thing That Could Happen and the Least Surprising Thing That Could Happen, this was it. This was perhaps the craziest fucker in the House of Representatives, and his loss represents about a 90% return to sanity in government. Good luck in your new job, Mr. Grayson, just remember the proper phrase is "would you like fries with that, Sir?". And smile when you say it.
* In my local election, Michael Grimm beat that malevolent leprechaun, Mike McMahon, and four other Republicans from New York are headed to Congress, allowing the NY Congressional delegation to at least be able to boast "We suck far less than we did yesterday...", Charles Schumer will not become Senate Majority Leader (since Dingy Harry survived), and I would dearly love to have been a fly on the wall when Schumer -- always one to count chickens before they hatch -- had to call off the mega-Press Conference and Fireworks Show that he'd scheduled to announce that he'd be vying for that position.
* Russ Feingold, the other half of the Greatest Assault on Free Speech in American History (Campaign Finance Reform) is now gone. Good riddance, and it was long overdue. Unfortunately, your partner in crime, John McCain, is still with us, which can only mean that the choice in Arizona must have been along the lines of "Would you rather: a) Fuck your mother, or b) Blow Your Father?" in that Senatorial contest.
The Bad:
* Harry Reid survived? How the hell did this happen? Either the people of Nevada are that fucking stupid, or Sharon Angle was the worst possible candidate. I'll have to think about that one.
* Christine O'Donnell loses. This is bad because we need some more hot chicks in Congress. If that election in Delaware taught you anything it is this: even in a day-and-age when people are unemployed, the national debt spirals out of control, the country is engaged in two wars, the Federal Government has nationalized the banks, heavy industry, insurance companies and is on the precipice of nationalizing our health care, you can STILL count on legions of people being stupid enough to be swayed by accusations that your opponent dabbles in Witchcraft. Things have not changed much since 17th Century New England, have they? I wonder; if someone took a test, would Delaware still be the dumbest -- and most irrelevant --state in the union?
* John Boehner crying. That is an image that I cannot scrub off my mind with a Brillo pad.
On MSNBC's Election Coverage (I flipped between Fox and (P)MSNBC all night):
* Keith Olbermann added a new dimension to his on-air persona; Keefy usually has a puss screwed on that is reminiscent of a man who is sitting upon his vibrator while having gallons of lemon juice poured into an open wound. Last night, he added a new face: he looked like he wanted to spit, but didn't because we all know he swallows. Keith took every opportunity to deviate from the fake "Objective Newsman" routine to scatter what passes for commentary on MSNBC with unflattering references to everyone he apparently doesn't like. Especially Christine O'Donnell and Sharon Angle. He was an ungracious douche, but what else could we expect from someone who probably still sleeps with his own parents, and likes having small rodents jammed in his bum?
* Rachel Maddow is a (insert word that rhymes with "hunt", and which will get you slapped in polite company). I realize that Rachel's job is to represent the "Butch Pseudo-Intellectual Lesbian" point of view on all things political, but I do recall a time when one could -- if they stretched the meaning of the word generously -- consider her to have been "fair".
* Chris Matthews had the look of a man who had just been buggered by a rabid, three-dicked grizzly bear (or maybe it was just a Momma Grizzly with a strap-on?) without lube, and no complimentary reach-around.
* Eugene Robinson is obviously disappointed that the program of Reparations by Another Name started by Resident Barack Obama now seems set to to come to an end, and that he'll have to Resort to Plan B in order to explain this defeat. Expect Gene to start cranking out columns and whining on MSNBC that Obama's failures are all the result of a vast conspiracy in which White Conservatives somehow managed to get a (half-)black man elected for the purposes of ensuring that no other black man, ever, gets elected President of the United States again. Should have asked for cash up front, Gene, instead of taking Obama's I.O.U.
* Ed Schultz is still the biggest, dumbest, most insufferable asshole on cable television,and he's even worse when his Red Comrades go down in fiery defeat. Somewhere, I'm hoping there's a guy with an elephant gun and tranquilizer darts, ready to do the country an enormous service and hunt Ed down, so that he may be returned to the Special-Needs Rhino Preserve from whence he came.
Miscellaneous:
* The notion that "Republicans must now show that they can govern" was floated about 73 times amongst the talking heads. First of all, the Republicans won the House of Representatives; democrats still control the Senate and the Presidency. The question is not "Can Republicans Govern?", but more "Why Haven't Democrats?", as they still hold 2/3 of the visible aspects of government. Had they not been pre-occupied by turning the United States into Greece -- only with turtle tunnels -- they might have actually accomplished something worth bragging about.
* On the notion that Republicans must now "reach across the isle in a spirit of non-partisanship". First of all, when a republican asks for "non-partisan"anything, he's basically asking "Hey, would you sign onto this crap so that when it fails I have some political cover?", and when a democrat calls for "Non-partisanship" it either means "I still get what I want, I just won't demonize you in public as badly as I would have", or it's a cry for mercy. Stuff "bi-partisanship" because it's the most misused word in American politics. The American People yesterday said "No" to taxes, "No" to nationalized healthcare, "No" to big government, "No" to policies that will strangle economic growth, "no" to bills that Congress can't be bothered to read before forcing them through in an unconstitutional fashion in the dead of night.
I rather doubt the democrats are in any mood to co-operate with anyone on dismantling or reversing anything they believe they've accomplished in the last two years. It's all they have to hang their hats on for 2012, after all. The only "bi-partisan" anything you'll get is where republicans in the House and Senate are able to force their democratic counterparts to swallow the bitter dregs of defeat in order to stave off defeat in 2012, and beyond. Only vulnerable democrats will play along, and when the numbers of those start to dwindle (never underestimate the power of a republican Congress to shoot itself in the foot) as we near 2012, expect to see the partisan bickering return with an even-greater fury.
* On the Notion That Obama's Speech today will Prove Once-and-For-All Whether he's a Pragmatist or an Ideologue: Were you not paying attention these last two years? Were you living under a rock? Atop a Himalayan peak where electricity and cable aren't available? Obama is an ideologue, and anything he has to say today will be simply be a regurgitation of his usual passive-aggressive ideological style ("While I look forward to working with Speaker Boehner, I will not abandon the Values and Principles that we have fought so hard to promote..."). I expect Obama will run through two teleprompters during this speech....and still say nothing.
* The most intriguing aspect of this election: Almost every candidate that Obama personally campaigned for lost. This comes a week after Al'Qaeda tried their little mail-bomb stunt. Let's see if Usama Bin Hidin' takes this clear indication of Obama's political weakness to cook something up, especially with Odouchebag scheduled to be out of the country this week (the one place where he can do the least amount of continuing damage). If I were Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton this week, I'd make sure that wherever it is that the Secret Service hides me, that refuge has plenty of reinforced concrete and is heavily-guarded.
The Good:
* Alan Grayson, a thoroughly despicable waste of gametes, lost his Congressional seat in Florida. If there was anything that stood out from yesterday's results as the both the Best Thing That Could Happen and the Least Surprising Thing That Could Happen, this was it. This was perhaps the craziest fucker in the House of Representatives, and his loss represents about a 90% return to sanity in government. Good luck in your new job, Mr. Grayson, just remember the proper phrase is "would you like fries with that, Sir?". And smile when you say it.
* In my local election, Michael Grimm beat that malevolent leprechaun, Mike McMahon, and four other Republicans from New York are headed to Congress, allowing the NY Congressional delegation to at least be able to boast "We suck far less than we did yesterday...", Charles Schumer will not become Senate Majority Leader (since Dingy Harry survived), and I would dearly love to have been a fly on the wall when Schumer -- always one to count chickens before they hatch -- had to call off the mega-Press Conference and Fireworks Show that he'd scheduled to announce that he'd be vying for that position.
* Russ Feingold, the other half of the Greatest Assault on Free Speech in American History (Campaign Finance Reform) is now gone. Good riddance, and it was long overdue. Unfortunately, your partner in crime, John McCain, is still with us, which can only mean that the choice in Arizona must have been along the lines of "Would you rather: a) Fuck your mother, or b) Blow Your Father?" in that Senatorial contest.
The Bad:
* Harry Reid survived? How the hell did this happen? Either the people of Nevada are that fucking stupid, or Sharon Angle was the worst possible candidate. I'll have to think about that one.
* Christine O'Donnell loses. This is bad because we need some more hot chicks in Congress. If that election in Delaware taught you anything it is this: even in a day-and-age when people are unemployed, the national debt spirals out of control, the country is engaged in two wars, the Federal Government has nationalized the banks, heavy industry, insurance companies and is on the precipice of nationalizing our health care, you can STILL count on legions of people being stupid enough to be swayed by accusations that your opponent dabbles in Witchcraft. Things have not changed much since 17th Century New England, have they? I wonder; if someone took a test, would Delaware still be the dumbest -- and most irrelevant --state in the union?
* John Boehner crying. That is an image that I cannot scrub off my mind with a Brillo pad.
On MSNBC's Election Coverage (I flipped between Fox and (P)MSNBC all night):
* Keith Olbermann added a new dimension to his on-air persona; Keefy usually has a puss screwed on that is reminiscent of a man who is sitting upon his vibrator while having gallons of lemon juice poured into an open wound. Last night, he added a new face: he looked like he wanted to spit, but didn't because we all know he swallows. Keith took every opportunity to deviate from the fake "Objective Newsman" routine to scatter what passes for commentary on MSNBC with unflattering references to everyone he apparently doesn't like. Especially Christine O'Donnell and Sharon Angle. He was an ungracious douche, but what else could we expect from someone who probably still sleeps with his own parents, and likes having small rodents jammed in his bum?
* Rachel Maddow is a (insert word that rhymes with "hunt", and which will get you slapped in polite company). I realize that Rachel's job is to represent the "Butch Pseudo-Intellectual Lesbian" point of view on all things political, but I do recall a time when one could -- if they stretched the meaning of the word generously -- consider her to have been "fair".
* Chris Matthews had the look of a man who had just been buggered by a rabid, three-dicked grizzly bear (or maybe it was just a Momma Grizzly with a strap-on?) without lube, and no complimentary reach-around.
* Eugene Robinson is obviously disappointed that the program of Reparations by Another Name started by Resident Barack Obama now seems set to to come to an end, and that he'll have to Resort to Plan B in order to explain this defeat. Expect Gene to start cranking out columns and whining on MSNBC that Obama's failures are all the result of a vast conspiracy in which White Conservatives somehow managed to get a (half-)black man elected for the purposes of ensuring that no other black man, ever, gets elected President of the United States again. Should have asked for cash up front, Gene, instead of taking Obama's I.O.U.
* Ed Schultz is still the biggest, dumbest, most insufferable asshole on cable television,and he's even worse when his Red Comrades go down in fiery defeat. Somewhere, I'm hoping there's a guy with an elephant gun and tranquilizer darts, ready to do the country an enormous service and hunt Ed down, so that he may be returned to the Special-Needs Rhino Preserve from whence he came.
Miscellaneous:
* The notion that "Republicans must now show that they can govern" was floated about 73 times amongst the talking heads. First of all, the Republicans won the House of Representatives; democrats still control the Senate and the Presidency. The question is not "Can Republicans Govern?", but more "Why Haven't Democrats?", as they still hold 2/3 of the visible aspects of government. Had they not been pre-occupied by turning the United States into Greece -- only with turtle tunnels -- they might have actually accomplished something worth bragging about.
* On the notion that Republicans must now "reach across the isle in a spirit of non-partisanship". First of all, when a republican asks for "non-partisan"anything, he's basically asking "Hey, would you sign onto this crap so that when it fails I have some political cover?", and when a democrat calls for "Non-partisanship" it either means "I still get what I want, I just won't demonize you in public as badly as I would have", or it's a cry for mercy. Stuff "bi-partisanship" because it's the most misused word in American politics. The American People yesterday said "No" to taxes, "No" to nationalized healthcare, "No" to big government, "No" to policies that will strangle economic growth, "no" to bills that Congress can't be bothered to read before forcing them through in an unconstitutional fashion in the dead of night.
I rather doubt the democrats are in any mood to co-operate with anyone on dismantling or reversing anything they believe they've accomplished in the last two years. It's all they have to hang their hats on for 2012, after all. The only "bi-partisan" anything you'll get is where republicans in the House and Senate are able to force their democratic counterparts to swallow the bitter dregs of defeat in order to stave off defeat in 2012, and beyond. Only vulnerable democrats will play along, and when the numbers of those start to dwindle (never underestimate the power of a republican Congress to shoot itself in the foot) as we near 2012, expect to see the partisan bickering return with an even-greater fury.
* On the Notion That Obama's Speech today will Prove Once-and-For-All Whether he's a Pragmatist or an Ideologue: Were you not paying attention these last two years? Were you living under a rock? Atop a Himalayan peak where electricity and cable aren't available? Obama is an ideologue, and anything he has to say today will be simply be a regurgitation of his usual passive-aggressive ideological style ("While I look forward to working with Speaker Boehner, I will not abandon the Values and Principles that we have fought so hard to promote..."). I expect Obama will run through two teleprompters during this speech....and still say nothing.
* The most intriguing aspect of this election: Almost every candidate that Obama personally campaigned for lost. This comes a week after Al'Qaeda tried their little mail-bomb stunt. Let's see if Usama Bin Hidin' takes this clear indication of Obama's political weakness to cook something up, especially with Odouchebag scheduled to be out of the country this week (the one place where he can do the least amount of continuing damage). If I were Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton this week, I'd make sure that wherever it is that the Secret Service hides me, that refuge has plenty of reinforced concrete and is heavily-guarded.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Today Is Election Day...
I see today's voting as more of an exercise in survival than I do as exercising my "Right to Be Heard". I would blog a lot of stuff about today's events, but frankly, I'm bored with it. if it wasn't for the fact that I want to work, that I don't want to be passed over for a transplant operation in favor of an illegal immigrant pre-op transsexual with no insurance, and am sick and tired of seeing Barack Obama on television, I don't think I could muster the ambition to leave my chair today.
It's not so much about "Transforming America" anymore as much as it is restoring some semblance of sanity to an insane situation. I don't expect the republicans (small 'r' intentional) to be any different from the democrats (small 'd' intentional), except that their policies will probably put more cash in my pocket with which to live a little more comfortably while our society circles the bowl.
Because, let's face it, republicans may be 'chastened' after losing Congress in 2006, and after running the worst bunch of mental deficients in 2008, but I have every confidence that after a decent period of being seen as "conservative" (and NOT in the Bible-thumping-flannel-shirt-wearing-tobacco-chewing-cousin-banging sense with which that word has become associated), they will do what human nature dictates they must, revert to form, and quickly re-establish the political spoils system they use to enrich themselves.
I will go to the booth and pull the lever for every 'R' on the ballot, if only because the alternative is worse. I'd rather have AIDS, Ebola, and Scrofula simultaneously than to live yet one more day under the Pelosi-Reid-President Marriot-Suites regime. It was only the most extreme sense of desperation which caused 52% of the brain-dead doofuses in this country to produce that Triumvirate of Trash in the first place, and it will now be a deeper sense of desperation that causes a seismic shift in the opposite direction today; the fundamental problems which underlay American society and politics will not be solved with a republican "sweep" today.
That "Change You Can Believe In" will merely get a start with a republican victory; until the illegal immigrants are shipped back in chains, the Muslims are utterly defeated, the Poor-with-Cable-TV-and-Cellphones are separated from the government teat, and American business is prevented from making outrageous profits at the expense of it's fellow citizens, no REAL change will come about.
That sort of change doesn't happen with a single election. That sort of change comes about when citizens are made aware of the consequences that come with NOT making sure it's 'political leadership' does the right thing.
Change does, indeed, come to America today, but it entails more than just kicking one party out in favor of another. In most cases, swapping democrats for republicans is sort of like making a choice between passing a bowling ball or opening an umbrella up your ass; neither is particularly attractive, but there isn't another choice available. The REAL change today should be a renewed spirit of civic awareness, a sense that We The People are really in charge, and that we have to be much more vigilant than we have been in the past, and that now, we expect results instead of rhetoric.
Anyways, I'm off to vote. I will be back later, to say a few words about Chris Matthew's expected apoplexy and the hernia Keith Olbermann will get in trying to spin the expected democratic bloodbath away...
It's not so much about "Transforming America" anymore as much as it is restoring some semblance of sanity to an insane situation. I don't expect the republicans (small 'r' intentional) to be any different from the democrats (small 'd' intentional), except that their policies will probably put more cash in my pocket with which to live a little more comfortably while our society circles the bowl.
Because, let's face it, republicans may be 'chastened' after losing Congress in 2006, and after running the worst bunch of mental deficients in 2008, but I have every confidence that after a decent period of being seen as "conservative" (and NOT in the Bible-thumping-flannel-shirt-wearing-tobacco-chewing-cousin-banging sense with which that word has become associated), they will do what human nature dictates they must, revert to form, and quickly re-establish the political spoils system they use to enrich themselves.
I will go to the booth and pull the lever for every 'R' on the ballot, if only because the alternative is worse. I'd rather have AIDS, Ebola, and Scrofula simultaneously than to live yet one more day under the Pelosi-Reid-President Marriot-Suites regime. It was only the most extreme sense of desperation which caused 52% of the brain-dead doofuses in this country to produce that Triumvirate of Trash in the first place, and it will now be a deeper sense of desperation that causes a seismic shift in the opposite direction today; the fundamental problems which underlay American society and politics will not be solved with a republican "sweep" today.
That "Change You Can Believe In" will merely get a start with a republican victory; until the illegal immigrants are shipped back in chains, the Muslims are utterly defeated, the Poor-with-Cable-TV-and-Cellphones are separated from the government teat, and American business is prevented from making outrageous profits at the expense of it's fellow citizens, no REAL change will come about.
That sort of change doesn't happen with a single election. That sort of change comes about when citizens are made aware of the consequences that come with NOT making sure it's 'political leadership' does the right thing.
Change does, indeed, come to America today, but it entails more than just kicking one party out in favor of another. In most cases, swapping democrats for republicans is sort of like making a choice between passing a bowling ball or opening an umbrella up your ass; neither is particularly attractive, but there isn't another choice available. The REAL change today should be a renewed spirit of civic awareness, a sense that We The People are really in charge, and that we have to be much more vigilant than we have been in the past, and that now, we expect results instead of rhetoric.
Anyways, I'm off to vote. I will be back later, to say a few words about Chris Matthew's expected apoplexy and the hernia Keith Olbermann will get in trying to spin the expected democratic bloodbath away...
Do NOT Ask this Man for Relationship Advice...
Because, you know, Gay Men know all bout Heterosexual sex, and stuff.
Don't know who Stephen Fry is, don't really give a shit, either. However, someone who could say something like this:
‘If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas,’ he said.Women would go and hang around in churchyards thinking, "God, I’ve got to get my ******* rocks off", or they’d go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to s**g behind as bush. It doesn’t happen. Why? Because the only women you can have sex with like that wish to be paid for it.’
...has probably spent his entire adult life fucking other men in the rectum. Probably more time receiving than giving,if you ask me. This is, indeed, the very last person I would ask about all things heterosexual.
First of all, his theory is fundamentally incorrect in this regard; modern women, brainwashed by feminism, practically give sex away as an exercise in "personal growth". All day, every day. and no cash has to change hands. Confused, conflicted females with no self esteem nor values abound. They're not all that hard to find. Low-hanging fruit. I could practically trip over all the stray vaginas on my way to the bathroom each morning, if I didn't have some standards and scruples. Thankfully, I do have some, and the days when I saw women as little more than a convenient place to park a boner are long gone (it's called "Growing Up". Some of us Men actually do it, you know).
Second, the reason why there's Gay cruising areas -- out in the open -- is that Homosexuals are sick individuals, who in part become homosexuals because they wish to reject and shock the sensibilities of conventional society. They do this because most of the homosexual men that I know are insatiable attention whores. They want you to know, in the loudest, gaudiest, most unmistakable fashion that they not only reject common moral values and sensibilities, they want to rub conventional society's collective nose in it, as well. It gives them a high to piss people off on such a visceral level. It's part of the whole twisted mentality.
There ARE straight "cruising areas", however, Mr. Fry probably doesn't recognize them because there isn't a 6' 4" douchebag in size-14 Kenneth Coles dressed up as Carmen Miranda, singing torch songs, no ankle-deep puddle of infected semen on the floor, no loose scabs, and no men in eyeshadow, platform shoes and sequins drawing out their sibilant essess over the background noise of extremely bad European techno, clinking Appletini glasses. Probably less drug use, too.
Quite frankly, it's been my experience that the best places to meet women have absolutely nothing to do with a social setting or party-like atmosphere, at all. The traditional Heterosexual Cruising Areas, like singles bars, booze cruises, etc., are perhaps the worst places to find decent babes, because those women went out with the intention of getting drunk and taken advantage of. They're almost daring you to do so. Don't even think of finding "a good woman" in church; She's there because she feels guilty about something, after all. No, if you want to find decent women, give those places a very wide berth and start looking in the most unconventional places you can imagine.
Places Mr. Fry would not recognize as "Cruising Areas" because there aren't any used hypodermics to step on, no one scooping peanuts out of the bar bowl with the same hand he's just jerked some anonymous douchebag with, and no Village People playing in the background.
The laundromat.
The Supermarket.
The Library.
The Local Dog walk.
The best way to score easy lays with no emotional connection or responsibilities is to have (like I do) a female best friend who also happens to be a drinking buddy, and insists on telling all your would-be conquests -- in that conspiratorially-female way when you leave for the restroom that "He's the best I've ever had...". Who needs a "Wingman" when you have a gold-plated reference like that? Now THAT'S a friend! It's almost a slam-dunk at that point.
Anyways, to get back to Mr. Fry's original, tortured, clueless point:
Women DO enjoy sex, Mr. Fry...when you do it properly. The problem (from a woman's point of view)is that most men don't. Then again, Modern Man has also been bathed in the atmosphere created by Modern Feminism, and he's done what he was done since the species first walked upright: he's adapted to the environment, and learned to take advantage of the resources available to him. The mixture of Feminism and a culture of moral relativism have combined to make women so lonely, so bitter, so confused, so fucking stupid, that even a misshapen lump like me has to, sometimes, beat them off with a stick. Why? Because we have learned how "to listen" (i.e. let her talk her fucking head off about anything and everything, while controlling the impulse to look at your watch), we have learned how to be "attentive" to her moods and needs (i.e. pretend to give a shit about her innermost thoughts and feelings), we have learned how to nod, and say "I agree" to whatever load of crap she's shovelling this evening. That, after all, is what Oprah, Cosmo, and the other "women's forums" tells them is what they need most in a man.
If men suck (no pun intended) at sex, it's because they've been conditioned to do it in a haphazard manner. Why make the effort to do it properly when this broad won't be here after breakfast? And she'll still be grateful?
We've learned to pretend to give them what they've been told they want. That's the key to the whole operation; I can get laid every day of the week and twice on Sunday by simply assuming my "Nice Guy" persona. It's not difficult to find women upon who this charade works.
However, for some of us, that is simply not enough. It certainly isn't enough for me; I'm past that stage in life where I can overlook "Miss Right" for "Miss Right-Now". I could spend an entire day screwing, as a mechanical function, but it doesn't satisfy for very long. Besides, it's hardly a challenge, and that, after all, should be part of the equation.
Sex, Mr. Fry, is easy to find. Someone you can stand to spend more than a few hours with without the urgent need to get naked, do the deed, and then send her packing, is a completely different beast altogether.
Never ask a Gay Man for an opinion on a heterosexual matter. It's like asking your plumber about your colon cancer.
(H/T Instapundit and HotAir)
Don't know who Stephen Fry is, don't really give a shit, either. However, someone who could say something like this:
‘If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas,’ he said.Women would go and hang around in churchyards thinking, "God, I’ve got to get my ******* rocks off", or they’d go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to s**g behind as bush. It doesn’t happen. Why? Because the only women you can have sex with like that wish to be paid for it.’
...has probably spent his entire adult life fucking other men in the rectum. Probably more time receiving than giving,if you ask me. This is, indeed, the very last person I would ask about all things heterosexual.
First of all, his theory is fundamentally incorrect in this regard; modern women, brainwashed by feminism, practically give sex away as an exercise in "personal growth". All day, every day. and no cash has to change hands. Confused, conflicted females with no self esteem nor values abound. They're not all that hard to find. Low-hanging fruit. I could practically trip over all the stray vaginas on my way to the bathroom each morning, if I didn't have some standards and scruples. Thankfully, I do have some, and the days when I saw women as little more than a convenient place to park a boner are long gone (it's called "Growing Up". Some of us Men actually do it, you know).
Second, the reason why there's Gay cruising areas -- out in the open -- is that Homosexuals are sick individuals, who in part become homosexuals because they wish to reject and shock the sensibilities of conventional society. They do this because most of the homosexual men that I know are insatiable attention whores. They want you to know, in the loudest, gaudiest, most unmistakable fashion that they not only reject common moral values and sensibilities, they want to rub conventional society's collective nose in it, as well. It gives them a high to piss people off on such a visceral level. It's part of the whole twisted mentality.
There ARE straight "cruising areas", however, Mr. Fry probably doesn't recognize them because there isn't a 6' 4" douchebag in size-14 Kenneth Coles dressed up as Carmen Miranda, singing torch songs, no ankle-deep puddle of infected semen on the floor, no loose scabs, and no men in eyeshadow, platform shoes and sequins drawing out their sibilant essess over the background noise of extremely bad European techno, clinking Appletini glasses. Probably less drug use, too.
Quite frankly, it's been my experience that the best places to meet women have absolutely nothing to do with a social setting or party-like atmosphere, at all. The traditional Heterosexual Cruising Areas, like singles bars, booze cruises, etc., are perhaps the worst places to find decent babes, because those women went out with the intention of getting drunk and taken advantage of. They're almost daring you to do so. Don't even think of finding "a good woman" in church; She's there because she feels guilty about something, after all. No, if you want to find decent women, give those places a very wide berth and start looking in the most unconventional places you can imagine.
Places Mr. Fry would not recognize as "Cruising Areas" because there aren't any used hypodermics to step on, no one scooping peanuts out of the bar bowl with the same hand he's just jerked some anonymous douchebag with, and no Village People playing in the background.
The laundromat.
The Supermarket.
The Library.
The Local Dog walk.
The best way to score easy lays with no emotional connection or responsibilities is to have (like I do) a female best friend who also happens to be a drinking buddy, and insists on telling all your would-be conquests -- in that conspiratorially-female way when you leave for the restroom that "He's the best I've ever had...". Who needs a "Wingman" when you have a gold-plated reference like that? Now THAT'S a friend! It's almost a slam-dunk at that point.
Anyways, to get back to Mr. Fry's original, tortured, clueless point:
Women DO enjoy sex, Mr. Fry...when you do it properly. The problem (from a woman's point of view)is that most men don't. Then again, Modern Man has also been bathed in the atmosphere created by Modern Feminism, and he's done what he was done since the species first walked upright: he's adapted to the environment, and learned to take advantage of the resources available to him. The mixture of Feminism and a culture of moral relativism have combined to make women so lonely, so bitter, so confused, so fucking stupid, that even a misshapen lump like me has to, sometimes, beat them off with a stick. Why? Because we have learned how "to listen" (i.e. let her talk her fucking head off about anything and everything, while controlling the impulse to look at your watch), we have learned how to be "attentive" to her moods and needs (i.e. pretend to give a shit about her innermost thoughts and feelings), we have learned how to nod, and say "I agree" to whatever load of crap she's shovelling this evening. That, after all, is what Oprah, Cosmo, and the other "women's forums" tells them is what they need most in a man.
If men suck (no pun intended) at sex, it's because they've been conditioned to do it in a haphazard manner. Why make the effort to do it properly when this broad won't be here after breakfast? And she'll still be grateful?
We've learned to pretend to give them what they've been told they want. That's the key to the whole operation; I can get laid every day of the week and twice on Sunday by simply assuming my "Nice Guy" persona. It's not difficult to find women upon who this charade works.
However, for some of us, that is simply not enough. It certainly isn't enough for me; I'm past that stage in life where I can overlook "Miss Right" for "Miss Right-Now". I could spend an entire day screwing, as a mechanical function, but it doesn't satisfy for very long. Besides, it's hardly a challenge, and that, after all, should be part of the equation.
Sex, Mr. Fry, is easy to find. Someone you can stand to spend more than a few hours with without the urgent need to get naked, do the deed, and then send her packing, is a completely different beast altogether.
Never ask a Gay Man for an opinion on a heterosexual matter. It's like asking your plumber about your colon cancer.
(H/T Instapundit and HotAir)
Monday, November 01, 2010
Facebook is the End of Civlization...
If you want to see the biggest fucking losers on the planet, try looking for them on Facebook. Perhaps the only people worse than Facebookers (Facebookees? Facefuckers?) are the Twitter assholes.The really insane thing about both is that these walking anuses are not only laboring under the gross misapprehension that I have a burning desire to know the intimate details of their uninteresting lives, but that I need pictures of it all, too, and require an update every minute of every goddamned day.
I've always been proud of my ability to basically ignore that which is wildly popular with the general public. After all, the general public is a bunch of self-interested little prats,possessed of slug-like intelligence, and very little in the way of good taste. It is the General Public, after all, which has made Jersey Shore the phenomenon that it is. It is the General Public which continuously clamors for ever-lower-common-denominator forms of entertainment: Fear Factor, Sixteen and Pregnant, Jerry Springer, Facebook...and gets it!
Too many people, with too large an opinion of themselves, with too much free time, and too many options to transmit their mental slag to a drooling public which is often just as stupid. The Internet and modern communications, for all the great things they allow us to do, are too easily abused by mouth-breathing nosepickers.
(Excluding Lunatic bloggers,of course. We provide a valuable public service.)
It is the Facebok aficionados who brought us Barack Obama and Sarah Palin, and patted itself on it's collective back for being so....cool? Progressive? Unbiased? Patriotic?
Puerile simpletons, the lot.
One of the most depressing aspects of 21st Century America is that this is, increasingly, a society run by twits, for the benefit of twits, and never once does anyone ever seem to realize just what fucking twits they themselves truly are. The major drawback to our modern culture and society is that it has now become possible for complete idiots to not only survive, but to flourish, very often with little-to-no conscious effort on their own behalf. We have created a society where one can live quite well -- if completely oblivious -- by just existing. These are the people who somehow think everyone else simply needs to know all about them in he same way a diabetic needs insulin...and even cares to.
These are the people drawn to Facebook...like moths to the flame.
I mean, you DO know what people do on Facebook, right? It's where college co-eds (people who are supposed to be reasonably intelligent) secretly take pictures of their sorority sisters sitting on the toilet and post them for the entire planet (and every potential rapist and pervert) to see. It's where those insane people who insist on dressing up their pets in gay costumes share their special brand of stupidity. It's where people will share the most intimate details of their lives with millions of complete strangers, with no regard for their own privacy and security, and very often, with absolutely no sense of modesty. Facebook is where the desperate near-suicides congregate for one last go-round of the entire "NOTICE ME!!!!" drama-insanity before they finally figure out that no one really gives a shit, and then they go off meekly to eat that shotgun barrel.
It's where that ubiquitous Lone Gunman posts his final manifesto before he goes out and commits Suicide-by-Cop, taking out a few dozen innocents in the process.
You never see greasy-looking men shuffling along the streets in over-sized overcoats, waiting for little children to come by so that they may expose themselves to the unsuspecting tykes; they have Facebook for that now. A very valuable accoutrement in the child molester's toolbox, indeed.
Facebook is gold-plated proof of the old saw (I think it was H.L. Mencken, the Grandmaster Douchebag of his generation, who said it) that "no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public". If you Facebook, in my estimation, you're a big, stupid douche with too much free time, and no self-esteem, screaming for attention in Cyberspace because screaming for attention in Reality doesn't seem to get you any. Get a fucking clue. Get a fucking life.
Nothing, however, can truly describe the special kind of bedwetting doofus one finds on Facebook better than the bedwetting doofuses themselves. We all know of the gay Rutgers University student driven to jump from the George Washington Bridge when his"friends" outed him on Facebook...as a joke. If that didn't get you to start wondering whether Facebook was really a good thing, a complete waste of time, or a ticking time bomb in the hands of the dumbest people on Earth, there's this story:
Italian Police Investigate Burglary of Virtual Home.
Yeah,not like there's a whole lot of Mafiosi or illegal-alien-Muslim-terrorists-in-training roaming the streets of Sicily, right? I'm glad the Italian police have time for this sort of thing; taking an obviously stupid person seriously.
If that doesn't have you shaking your head, try this one:
Mom Kills Baby for Interrupting Farmville.
Check out the picture (probably taken from her own Facebook page, no doubt!) of the Killer Mom: does that look like a sane individual to you? Hell, does that even look like an attractive individual? I'm almost shocked that someone was actually capable of keeping his eyes shut long enough (and keep his lunch long enough) to make that absolute beauty queen a mother (proving once again that some men are absolute goats, and would fuck a catcher's mitt, if it held still long enough). What makes me...shake...my head even more than this story, are the absolute numbskulls who voted that story "Hilarious" on Newser.com. Those sick and twisted bastards are probably on Facebook, too.
That's what's waiting for you on Facebook: people who cannot separate fantasy from reality, and someone who would violently shake an infant, smoke a cigarette, and then shake the kid to death for interrupting her online agricultural experience -- and a bunch of douchebags who find that sort of thing side-splitting, pee-your-pants funny.
Facebook, like Islam, is a threat to civilization. And instead of stringing up the idiots who invented this new form of Electronic Heroin, we made them rich -- and celebrate them in feature films.
I shudder to think of a future run by absolute dickheads who can't stop Tweeting, or who kill their children for interrupting their game of Farmville. That's what we've raised.
I've always been proud of my ability to basically ignore that which is wildly popular with the general public. After all, the general public is a bunch of self-interested little prats,possessed of slug-like intelligence, and very little in the way of good taste. It is the General Public, after all, which has made Jersey Shore the phenomenon that it is. It is the General Public which continuously clamors for ever-lower-common-denominator forms of entertainment: Fear Factor, Sixteen and Pregnant, Jerry Springer, Facebook...and gets it!
Too many people, with too large an opinion of themselves, with too much free time, and too many options to transmit their mental slag to a drooling public which is often just as stupid. The Internet and modern communications, for all the great things they allow us to do, are too easily abused by mouth-breathing nosepickers.
(Excluding Lunatic bloggers,of course. We provide a valuable public service.)
It is the Facebok aficionados who brought us Barack Obama and Sarah Palin, and patted itself on it's collective back for being so....cool? Progressive? Unbiased? Patriotic?
Puerile simpletons, the lot.
One of the most depressing aspects of 21st Century America is that this is, increasingly, a society run by twits, for the benefit of twits, and never once does anyone ever seem to realize just what fucking twits they themselves truly are. The major drawback to our modern culture and society is that it has now become possible for complete idiots to not only survive, but to flourish, very often with little-to-no conscious effort on their own behalf. We have created a society where one can live quite well -- if completely oblivious -- by just existing. These are the people who somehow think everyone else simply needs to know all about them in he same way a diabetic needs insulin...and even cares to.
These are the people drawn to Facebook...like moths to the flame.
I mean, you DO know what people do on Facebook, right? It's where college co-eds (people who are supposed to be reasonably intelligent) secretly take pictures of their sorority sisters sitting on the toilet and post them for the entire planet (and every potential rapist and pervert) to see. It's where those insane people who insist on dressing up their pets in gay costumes share their special brand of stupidity. It's where people will share the most intimate details of their lives with millions of complete strangers, with no regard for their own privacy and security, and very often, with absolutely no sense of modesty. Facebook is where the desperate near-suicides congregate for one last go-round of the entire "NOTICE ME!!!!" drama-insanity before they finally figure out that no one really gives a shit, and then they go off meekly to eat that shotgun barrel.
It's where that ubiquitous Lone Gunman posts his final manifesto before he goes out and commits Suicide-by-Cop, taking out a few dozen innocents in the process.
You never see greasy-looking men shuffling along the streets in over-sized overcoats, waiting for little children to come by so that they may expose themselves to the unsuspecting tykes; they have Facebook for that now. A very valuable accoutrement in the child molester's toolbox, indeed.
Facebook is gold-plated proof of the old saw (I think it was H.L. Mencken, the Grandmaster Douchebag of his generation, who said it) that "no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public". If you Facebook, in my estimation, you're a big, stupid douche with too much free time, and no self-esteem, screaming for attention in Cyberspace because screaming for attention in Reality doesn't seem to get you any. Get a fucking clue. Get a fucking life.
Nothing, however, can truly describe the special kind of bedwetting doofus one finds on Facebook better than the bedwetting doofuses themselves. We all know of the gay Rutgers University student driven to jump from the George Washington Bridge when his"friends" outed him on Facebook...as a joke. If that didn't get you to start wondering whether Facebook was really a good thing, a complete waste of time, or a ticking time bomb in the hands of the dumbest people on Earth, there's this story:
Italian Police Investigate Burglary of Virtual Home.
Yeah,not like there's a whole lot of Mafiosi or illegal-alien-Muslim-terrorists-in-training roaming the streets of Sicily, right? I'm glad the Italian police have time for this sort of thing; taking an obviously stupid person seriously.
If that doesn't have you shaking your head, try this one:
Mom Kills Baby for Interrupting Farmville.
Check out the picture (probably taken from her own Facebook page, no doubt!) of the Killer Mom: does that look like a sane individual to you? Hell, does that even look like an attractive individual? I'm almost shocked that someone was actually capable of keeping his eyes shut long enough (and keep his lunch long enough) to make that absolute beauty queen a mother (proving once again that some men are absolute goats, and would fuck a catcher's mitt, if it held still long enough). What makes me...shake...my head even more than this story, are the absolute numbskulls who voted that story "Hilarious" on Newser.com. Those sick and twisted bastards are probably on Facebook, too.
That's what's waiting for you on Facebook: people who cannot separate fantasy from reality, and someone who would violently shake an infant, smoke a cigarette, and then shake the kid to death for interrupting her online agricultural experience -- and a bunch of douchebags who find that sort of thing side-splitting, pee-your-pants funny.
Facebook, like Islam, is a threat to civilization. And instead of stringing up the idiots who invented this new form of Electronic Heroin, we made them rich -- and celebrate them in feature films.
I shudder to think of a future run by absolute dickheads who can't stop Tweeting, or who kill their children for interrupting their game of Farmville. That's what we've raised.
Friday, October 29, 2010
The End of Camelot?
The Last Kennedy may lose.
Dare we hope? Dare we dream? I might consider praying it if could make it so.
The "Kennedy mystique" has long outlived it's usefulness, and has done little more than to ensure that successive generations of slimy little retards with big teeth and a predilection for substance abuse and adultery had jobs bought for them that they were eminently unqualified for. If it wasn't for the fact that JFK was an icon to millions of brain-dead, drug-taking, hippies (in much the same way that FDR became an icon to their parents, an apparent savior who's only real talents were for telling people what they wanted to hear) the legend of John Fitzgerald Kennedy would have died in that limo in Dallas with him.
Here's the (very short) list of JFK's "accomplishments":
* Had several books written for him, which he simply signed his name to.
* Getting his PT Boat cut in half by a Japanese destroyer.
* Using his would-be Nazi-collaborator Daddy's Prohibition-fueled fortune to buy himself a career in politics.
* Marrying a smokin' hawt babe.
* Bringing the world the brink of nuclear annihilation.
* Chickening out at the Bay of Pigs.
* Vietnam
* Getting shot in the head.
JFK, all things considered, was a 1960's version of John McCain...only with charm and a ventilated braincase.
Why he is considered one of the best American Presidents is beyond me. Spare me the crap about his "commitment" to Civil Rights: that was all about avoiding a repeat of the 1960 election where he only managed to beat Nixon by the skin of his teeth. Kennedy needed more votes for the next go-around, and there simply weren't enough White people's votes to buy, or dead Chicagoans, to guarantee victory in '64.
What came after JFK and RFK were simply the dregs of the Kennedy DNA line, and they have polluted the halls of power for far too long. Eventually, the aura attached to a dead Uncle wears off, and people grow up. Or at least their priorities change; the Aging Hippies who creamed for Kennedy are no longer interested in lip-service to equality, Civil Rights, and a dreamy rhetoric about a loftily-idealistic-yet-infantile Utopia; they want free goddamned Viagra and someone to bear the cost of their fast-approaching retirement, now that the home they bought as a retirement vehicle is now basically worthless, and their stock portfolios have been wiped out by their own generation's economic stupidity. They no longer have the time or patience for sentimentality.
The Attachment to All Things Kennedy, under these circumstances, must surely fade, and with it, the stranglehold on both power and stupidity that has rested in the hands of a single (probably-inbred) family for far too long must surely loosen.
If only this would become a Nationwide Phenomenon, and we could do away with all the other political dynasties in America; Coumos, Bushes, Clintons, and so forth. How much better, how much fresher, how much more effective our political system would be (and I mean that in the hope that it would be more responsive, and responsible, to we the citizens who don't belong to the country club set) when it was no longer just "the family business".
Dare we hope? Dare we dream? I might consider praying it if could make it so.
The "Kennedy mystique" has long outlived it's usefulness, and has done little more than to ensure that successive generations of slimy little retards with big teeth and a predilection for substance abuse and adultery had jobs bought for them that they were eminently unqualified for. If it wasn't for the fact that JFK was an icon to millions of brain-dead, drug-taking, hippies (in much the same way that FDR became an icon to their parents, an apparent savior who's only real talents were for telling people what they wanted to hear) the legend of John Fitzgerald Kennedy would have died in that limo in Dallas with him.
Here's the (very short) list of JFK's "accomplishments":
* Had several books written for him, which he simply signed his name to.
* Getting his PT Boat cut in half by a Japanese destroyer.
* Using his would-be Nazi-collaborator Daddy's Prohibition-fueled fortune to buy himself a career in politics.
* Marrying a smokin' hawt babe.
* Bringing the world the brink of nuclear annihilation.
* Chickening out at the Bay of Pigs.
* Vietnam
* Getting shot in the head.
JFK, all things considered, was a 1960's version of John McCain...only with charm and a ventilated braincase.
Why he is considered one of the best American Presidents is beyond me. Spare me the crap about his "commitment" to Civil Rights: that was all about avoiding a repeat of the 1960 election where he only managed to beat Nixon by the skin of his teeth. Kennedy needed more votes for the next go-around, and there simply weren't enough White people's votes to buy, or dead Chicagoans, to guarantee victory in '64.
What came after JFK and RFK were simply the dregs of the Kennedy DNA line, and they have polluted the halls of power for far too long. Eventually, the aura attached to a dead Uncle wears off, and people grow up. Or at least their priorities change; the Aging Hippies who creamed for Kennedy are no longer interested in lip-service to equality, Civil Rights, and a dreamy rhetoric about a loftily-idealistic-yet-infantile Utopia; they want free goddamned Viagra and someone to bear the cost of their fast-approaching retirement, now that the home they bought as a retirement vehicle is now basically worthless, and their stock portfolios have been wiped out by their own generation's economic stupidity. They no longer have the time or patience for sentimentality.
The Attachment to All Things Kennedy, under these circumstances, must surely fade, and with it, the stranglehold on both power and stupidity that has rested in the hands of a single (probably-inbred) family for far too long must surely loosen.
If only this would become a Nationwide Phenomenon, and we could do away with all the other political dynasties in America; Coumos, Bushes, Clintons, and so forth. How much better, how much fresher, how much more effective our political system would be (and I mean that in the hope that it would be more responsive, and responsible, to we the citizens who don't belong to the country club set) when it was no longer just "the family business".
Nancy Pelosi's Daily Routine...
Oh, I'm sorry -- I meant Adolph Hitler's daily routine. I can't figure out how it is that I keep confusing the two...
As an interesting way to amuse yourself, as you read that article replace "Hitler" with "Pelosi" and "Nazi" with "democrat" (small 'd' intentional), and have yourself a laugh.
Right up until you begin to realize that you actually can imagine Nancy Pelosi and democrats operating in exactly that fashion...
As an interesting way to amuse yourself, as you read that article replace "Hitler" with "Pelosi" and "Nazi" with "democrat" (small 'd' intentional), and have yourself a laugh.
Right up until you begin to realize that you actually can imagine Nancy Pelosi and democrats operating in exactly that fashion...
Joy Behar: Aging Life Support System for a Vagina...
...that nobody in his right mind wants anymore.
I don't watch The View, but given all the high-profile nonsense that's been happening there lately, I gave it a shot. Complete waste of time. Five broads sitting around yacking over coffee, mostly about stuff they don't know about? Gimme a break.
I mean, I don't get the premise behind this. Hasn't anyone figured out that the combination of stupid, menopause, old age and uninformed opinion makes for really bad television? Besides, MSNBC, I mean?
Barbara Walters? Okay, I can see what her role is: she's supposed to lend gravitas to what is otherwise a rather dopey show.
Whoopi Goldberg? I have to say that while I do not agree with most of what Whoopi has to say, I still consider her to be both an intelligent woman, and a witty one. She's definitely the brains. Someone should give Whoopi her own talk show.
Elizabeth Hasselbeck? sizzlin' eye candy, and token normal chick. Give her credit for having the gumption to go on with this nonsense, and trying to give it a serious slant, while showing remarkable restraint and not whacking her four co-hosts with a baseball bat with wicked spikes protruding from it.
Fat-Black-Chick-Who's-Name-I-Could-Not-Be-Bothered-To-Learn? She's apparently there to roll her eyes, give you the occasional "hmm-hmmm, you know it, Girlfriend!" or"Hands-on-Hips-Talk-to-the-Hand" flash of attitude that you usually only see at the supermarket where Welfare Mother has just purchased a year's supply of Cheetos for her seven-children-by-eleven-fathers...with food stamps. Every once in a while, it appears she also lets fly with the ever-popular "Feets Don't Fail Me Now!" sort of outburst that was a Hollywood black-and-white film staple some 60 years ago.
I got all that after one viewing.
Behar's major problem is one common to women her age: she believed every word the Modern Feminists spewed at her. Having a pussy gives you power over Men, Time and Space. Having abortions makes you freer. Divorce is an exercise in Empowerment. You can achieve your rightful place in society by being a bitch, when that's necessary, and a total slut if that works better for you -- and very often, both at once (until you become old and unattractive, then the only options left are Perpetual Bitchhood or Lawsuit). The World should beat a path to your door, because you have tits. You're owed, Baby --and entitled to get whatever you goddamned well please from society, and especially from Men, because your sex has been historically oppressed.
It all sounds like Karl Marx with a menstrual cycle to me.
Joy is so obviously unfulfilled. I've seen that look -- that dead-eyed, glazed, lights-are-on-but-no one's-home look -- before..in therapy. It's the look of someone who wants to know why it is that she's been promised the Sun, the Moon and the Stars -- you CAN have it all, career and family, an emasculated and pussy-whipped husband who "understands"and"supports" and worships you, and who will keep you in bon-bons, housekeepers and exaggerated material wealth -- only to find out that it was all a great, big lie. Now old and joyless, she has to make certain that everyone else in the Solar System suffers for all of her disappointments.
Many women of her era, and especially the ones who ones who...ahem...swallowed the propaganda of the Sexual Revolution whole (i.e. that women distributing their sexual favors without having to be bribed with an engagement ring, or even with the purpose of landing a husband, was an act of personal liberation and a fountain of self-esteem), are almost all completely disappointed by the waste they've often made of their lives. Give Joy some credit, though; she's on television after all, but that has less to do with talent than it does demographics; Maureen Dowd may be the spokeswoman for the bitter, disillusioned feminist, but she can't be everywhere at once, and besides, she's a higher class of bitter, disillusioned feminist than Joy is that doesn't so play well with the 40-something Housefrau, who for the most part is the most materially well-off, pampered, spoiled, comfortable and obnoxious creature in human history, after that category of slugs we call "Baby Boomer".
Besides, I guess Al Franken wasn't available to play the part of un-funny, ex-comedian with only stupid things to say.
And yes, I have generalized. You try dating thrice-divorced hellions who can't understand why all the men in her life -- the ones she tried to control with her weaponized vagina, constant Cosmo-inspired douchebaggery, and insistence that she's entitled to everything on planet Earth, in the quantities she wants, and delivered in a highly-ritualistic and timely fashion --treats her like a place to simply park his penis -- and then wants you to pay for all their sins -- and see what you think of them! And worse, they expect you to be mind-reader, therapist, handyman, gigolo, Santa Claus and Substitute Daddy, too, but who you need to be, when, and in what fashion, seems to depend completely upon her irrational whims.
They're fucking lunatics.
Why anyone should care what Behar has to say, on any subject, is beyond me, and why anyone should be shocked that she would walk off stage on Bill O'Reilly for telling a truth that blows her tiny mind, or calls Sharon Angle a bitch on national television, is also a headscratcher. If Joy Behar, and by extension, The View, is the measuring stick for the intelligence, taste and political acumen of the Modern American Woman, then maybe we deserve to be overrun by Al' Qaeda.
I don't watch The View, but given all the high-profile nonsense that's been happening there lately, I gave it a shot. Complete waste of time. Five broads sitting around yacking over coffee, mostly about stuff they don't know about? Gimme a break.
I mean, I don't get the premise behind this. Hasn't anyone figured out that the combination of stupid, menopause, old age and uninformed opinion makes for really bad television? Besides, MSNBC, I mean?
Barbara Walters? Okay, I can see what her role is: she's supposed to lend gravitas to what is otherwise a rather dopey show.
Whoopi Goldberg? I have to say that while I do not agree with most of what Whoopi has to say, I still consider her to be both an intelligent woman, and a witty one. She's definitely the brains. Someone should give Whoopi her own talk show.
Elizabeth Hasselbeck? sizzlin' eye candy, and token normal chick. Give her credit for having the gumption to go on with this nonsense, and trying to give it a serious slant, while showing remarkable restraint and not whacking her four co-hosts with a baseball bat with wicked spikes protruding from it.
Fat-Black-Chick-Who's-Name-I-Could-Not-Be-Bothered-To-Learn? She's apparently there to roll her eyes, give you the occasional "hmm-hmmm, you know it, Girlfriend!" or"Hands-on-Hips-Talk-to-the-Hand" flash of attitude that you usually only see at the supermarket where Welfare Mother has just purchased a year's supply of Cheetos for her seven-children-by-eleven-fathers...with food stamps. Every once in a while, it appears she also lets fly with the ever-popular "Feets Don't Fail Me Now!" sort of outburst that was a Hollywood black-and-white film staple some 60 years ago.
I got all that after one viewing.
Behar's major problem is one common to women her age: she believed every word the Modern Feminists spewed at her. Having a pussy gives you power over Men, Time and Space. Having abortions makes you freer. Divorce is an exercise in Empowerment. You can achieve your rightful place in society by being a bitch, when that's necessary, and a total slut if that works better for you -- and very often, both at once (until you become old and unattractive, then the only options left are Perpetual Bitchhood or Lawsuit). The World should beat a path to your door, because you have tits. You're owed, Baby --and entitled to get whatever you goddamned well please from society, and especially from Men, because your sex has been historically oppressed.
It all sounds like Karl Marx with a menstrual cycle to me.
Joy is so obviously unfulfilled. I've seen that look -- that dead-eyed, glazed, lights-are-on-but-no one's-home look -- before..in therapy. It's the look of someone who wants to know why it is that she's been promised the Sun, the Moon and the Stars -- you CAN have it all, career and family, an emasculated and pussy-whipped husband who "understands"and"supports" and worships you, and who will keep you in bon-bons, housekeepers and exaggerated material wealth -- only to find out that it was all a great, big lie. Now old and joyless, she has to make certain that everyone else in the Solar System suffers for all of her disappointments.
Many women of her era, and especially the ones who ones who...ahem...swallowed the propaganda of the Sexual Revolution whole (i.e. that women distributing their sexual favors without having to be bribed with an engagement ring, or even with the purpose of landing a husband, was an act of personal liberation and a fountain of self-esteem), are almost all completely disappointed by the waste they've often made of their lives. Give Joy some credit, though; she's on television after all, but that has less to do with talent than it does demographics; Maureen Dowd may be the spokeswoman for the bitter, disillusioned feminist, but she can't be everywhere at once, and besides, she's a higher class of bitter, disillusioned feminist than Joy is that doesn't so play well with the 40-something Housefrau, who for the most part is the most materially well-off, pampered, spoiled, comfortable and obnoxious creature in human history, after that category of slugs we call "Baby Boomer".
Besides, I guess Al Franken wasn't available to play the part of un-funny, ex-comedian with only stupid things to say.
And yes, I have generalized. You try dating thrice-divorced hellions who can't understand why all the men in her life -- the ones she tried to control with her weaponized vagina, constant Cosmo-inspired douchebaggery, and insistence that she's entitled to everything on planet Earth, in the quantities she wants, and delivered in a highly-ritualistic and timely fashion --treats her like a place to simply park his penis -- and then wants you to pay for all their sins -- and see what you think of them! And worse, they expect you to be mind-reader, therapist, handyman, gigolo, Santa Claus and Substitute Daddy, too, but who you need to be, when, and in what fashion, seems to depend completely upon her irrational whims.
They're fucking lunatics.
Why anyone should care what Behar has to say, on any subject, is beyond me, and why anyone should be shocked that she would walk off stage on Bill O'Reilly for telling a truth that blows her tiny mind, or calls Sharon Angle a bitch on national television, is also a headscratcher. If Joy Behar, and by extension, The View, is the measuring stick for the intelligence, taste and political acumen of the Modern American Woman, then maybe we deserve to be overrun by Al' Qaeda.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Yet More Bad Medicine...
I watch entirely too much television, but then again, I have far too much free time on my hands.
One of the things I find most entertaining about television these days are the wall-to-wall advertisements for prescription drugs and over-the-counter supplements that take up about one-quarter of the broadcasting day. What I find entertaining about them is that they usually follow a familiar format:
Scene: Two splendidly-preserved Baby Boomers are enjoying their ideal active retirement. They seem to be enjoying themselves more than people who don't snort cocaine regularly do in real life. Then, the Voice Over Lady chimes in, and begins to tell us all about the devastating malady (usually on the order of hangnail, vaginal/scrotal dryness, smelly feet, wrinkles or Old Lady Mothball Smell) that keeps one of those Boomers from achieving her (it's usually a Her) dream of conquering Everest, learning the cello, or fucking like a mink.
Only, the medical complaint Voiceover Lady is yacking about is usually not all that big a deal. In days past, people suffering from this minor malady simply "sucked it up", or chalked their discomfort up to "getting older". But Baby Boomers think they should be able to live forever, free of complaint, and at someone else's expense, and with their sexual potency intact (see: Medicare, ObamaCare).
Anyways, the commercial very quickly degenerates from Hippie Bob and Mary's slight physical impairment (usually only 10 seconds on the disease in question), and becomes a laundry list of warnings, listing of side effects, and godawful effects of the drug in question, that you begin to wonder just why anyone in his right fucking mind would take this dangerous-sounding pill. And then you laugh.
Unless you're me -- and then you do a little research to ensure that's what being sold as the fountain of youth and the cure to all that ails you, is all that. I've done a bunch of these, and you can read them by simply hitting the Bad Medicine tag at the bottom of the post.
This time, we're looking at a bullshit arthritis "cure", yet another statin drug, a couple of over-the-counter "remedies" for your stomach, and a drug that deals with pain you only imagine you feel. So, here you go:
1. Arthri-D - Glucosamine and "Key Plant Extracts" (including frankincense -- if it was good enough for Jesus...) many herbal fillers, and Vitamin D3. It claims to "enhance your diet...and your life!", and is sold as the answer to your creaking, arthritic joints. It's a nutritional supplement of dubious value, and has not been tested in regards to ANY malady, whatsoever.
It's selling point seems to be that if you take this, your arthritis will be magically cured, although they take great pains not to guarantee that claim, in extremely small print, on the website. Oh, and the other selling point is that Arthri-D3 is made right here in the good 'ol USA in a "superior manufacturing facility that adheres to the highest quality standards".
Okay, so I guess that makes it the highest-quality crap you can waste your money on. Don't take it if you're allergic to seafood, as you will probably explode like a Palestinian on a public bus.Otherwise, the company that makes Arthri-D3 is being investigated by the FTC, and has a chief executive who has had to -- allegedly -- change his name at least once. You can't even find out how much this stuff costs unless you call the 24-hour hotline to order it. You can see the "infomercial" (running on heavy rotation on Fox Business channel on weekends) at the Arthri-D website.
2. Crestor - an oldie-but-goodie, Crestor is once again being heavily flogged on television, which kinda sucks, except for the Patrick Stewart voiceover.
This is another statin drug which is supposed to help you regulate your cholesterol levels. I've taken statin drugs in the past, and I'm convinced that they work by simply giving you the kind of explosive diarrhea one normally associates with Mexico, ensuring that nothing you eat has time to actually stick around long enough to put any extra cholesterol into your system. After that, all statins do something strange to your liver (which produces 70% of all your cholesterol all by itself), that requires monthly blood tests and physician visits, which get annoying and frequent enough for you to believe that having the heart attack you're trying to avoid just might be a better and cheaper option, after all.
If you take Crestor you can look forward to the following side-effects besides the crippling, dehydrating diarrhea that will ruin your life by making it impossible for you to be any more than a quick sprint from a toilet at any time: persistent headaches, abdominal pain, weakness, persistent nausea, elevated blood sugar levels (so that you can trade high cholesterol for diabetes!), myalgia (muscle pains), asthenia, myopathy, rhabdomyalisys (breakdown of skeletal muscle), myglobinaria (too much myoglobin in your kidneys, leading to renal failure), and a host of unspecified skeletal/muscle-related issues.
See the website for details. Crestor will set you back about $150.00 for a month's supply of 20mg pills. If you take 40mg dosages, you can expect to pay nearly $200.00, and have all of the side-effects listed above at about twice-the-intensity.
3. Digestive Advantage - this is an over-the-counter product being sold as a treatment option for those with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), although it bills itself as a "Medical Food Product" on it's website, whatever that means.
Actually, all it is is something like Milk of Magnesia with some "All Natural" additives -- and a higher price. The gist behind this "Medical Food" is that most treatments for IBS don't work because the active ingredients never make it into your intestines -- where all the good stuff happens. Those other medications are all used up or mostly wasted after they enter your stomach, destroyed by contact with stomach acids, and so that you get no relief from your painful, bloody pooping and uber-menstrual-like cramps. Digestive Advantage basically puts Milk of Magnesia into a super, bullet-proof capsule that won't break down as quickly in your stomach acids, and so it is hoped, allow a little more medicine to be delivered to your lower intestine, where all that nasty IBS shit (no pun intended) happens.
The two biggest risk factors for IBS are diet and emotional state, although there are some for whom this is not always the case. Instead of taking medicines and "Medical Food Products" most people who suffer from IBS would probably benefit more from a change in diet and learning how to chill out. But then you wouldn't have the opportunity to pay for this Crap that Helps You Crap, would you?
As a society, we're now more focused on our bowels than we ever have been before, which I guess is better than our previous pre-occupation with our genitals, and we're now seeing all sorts of medications, "Medical Food Products" and contrivances hitting the market which are ensuring that your digestive system and poop chute run like the finest Swiss Watch. The Baby-Boomer generation that was once obsessed with the Erection is now Obsessed with it's Feces, just as Freud predicted, and the American pharmaceutical industry is working feverishly to meet the demand!
Who says Capitalism is dead?
The only major side effect seems to be a dramatic increase in flatulence, which might get you tagged as a threat to Mother Gaia by any committed Tree Hugger, and an occasional oily spotting in your undies. These might cause you severe embarrassment in public settings, but it's better than bloody, painful turds and torn, irritated hemorrhoids, isn't it?
You'll be happy to know that the makers of Digestive Advantage also make Gas, Daily Constipation and Lactose "Defense" formulas. Oh, joy! An entire product line devoted to your tushy!
4. Gas-X Protection- a lovely little over-the-counter supplement that will help defend you against the embarrassing and uncomfortable effects of excessive stomach gas, "with unbeatable speed". The selling point here is the terrible embarrassment that people with severe gas will often suffer; as the website advertisement is simply loaded with overwrought references to the public approbation, social isolation, and mental consequences of excessive flatulence. According to the website, your flatulence can "consume your mind, distracting you from what you are doing -- making you feel helpless". Frankly, I've never heard of anyone being so consumed by the fear of farting that they develop social anxiety disorders or ADD, so I'm a bit leary of that claim.
In fact, if you're a perpetual adolescent -- like me -- you find flatulence incredibly funny, and you love to share it. There's no joke yet devised by man that provides as much laughter as a good butt whistle, so far as I'm concerned. Why, the flatus is perhaps mankind's greatest invention: you can share it with your friends for free, it always makes someone in the room laugh, and even the deaf can join in the fun! Be that as it may, however, there are some people, for whom this is not true.
Killjoys!
Thankfully, for all of us Overgrown Children in love with the Fart, all that fun-killing, gas-stopping tomfoolery comes at a cost: you can expect massive cramps whenever you use Gas-X Prevention. Something on the order of birth-contraction-type pain, I'm led to understand. If that wasn't enough of a reason to avoid this stuff, you can also anticipate all the time you'll have to sit around and think of newer and more descriptive adjectives to put in front of the word "diarrhea" -- which is what you'll get with every dose. That's if you can manage to avoid the following: rash, hives, itching, difficult breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face or tongue. All this gas-free happiness for about $40 a box.
It's almost better to just let one rip in the elevator every once in while and just deal with the embarrassment.
5. Lyrica - This is a drug prescribed for people with varying sorts of nerve pain, usually related to diabetes and shingles, but just as often for pain resulting from fybromyalgia, which I gather is a fancy term for "pain which your doctor cannot explain by scientific means". I've known two people with fybromyalgia, both resulting from injuries suffered during automobile accidents, and I'm convinced that their "pain" is no pain at all, but rather a dependence on the opiates they were given to relieve the real discomfort of their long-ago-healed injuries. They feel phantom pains which justifies the continued prescriptions for painkillers. One woman I know required methadone treatments to wean her off the vast array of painkillers she was given. Lyrica is also given to epileptics to prevent seizures.
Side effects of Lyrica include: swelling of the face, lips, gums, mouth, throat, neck and tongue, trouble breathing or swallowing, rashes, hives and blisters of an unspecified sort. You might also experience dizziness, sleepiness, nausea, muscle pain (hey, I thought this was supposed to make pain disappear?), blurry vision, swelling of the hands and feet, and what the website describes as "feeling high", and of course, quite persistent diarrhea. Everything about modern medicine, it seems, now causes diarrhea. People who take Lyrica to control epileptic seizures can also look forward to mood swings, an increase in suicidal thoughts, and amazingly for a medicine that is thought to control them, an increased frequency of seizures(so why take it all, if you're an epileptic?).
Lyrica will set you back about $200.00 for a month's supply. You could almost afford the drug treatment program to wean you off the over-prescribed opiates you were given for your whiplash for that kind of money.
I'm currently investigating another 10 or 11 of these drugs, over-the-counter medicines and other dopey shit that are being advertised heavily these days. I'll be posting about them real soon, promise!
One of the things I find most entertaining about television these days are the wall-to-wall advertisements for prescription drugs and over-the-counter supplements that take up about one-quarter of the broadcasting day. What I find entertaining about them is that they usually follow a familiar format:
Scene: Two splendidly-preserved Baby Boomers are enjoying their ideal active retirement. They seem to be enjoying themselves more than people who don't snort cocaine regularly do in real life. Then, the Voice Over Lady chimes in, and begins to tell us all about the devastating malady (usually on the order of hangnail, vaginal/scrotal dryness, smelly feet, wrinkles or Old Lady Mothball Smell) that keeps one of those Boomers from achieving her (it's usually a Her) dream of conquering Everest, learning the cello, or fucking like a mink.
Only, the medical complaint Voiceover Lady is yacking about is usually not all that big a deal. In days past, people suffering from this minor malady simply "sucked it up", or chalked their discomfort up to "getting older". But Baby Boomers think they should be able to live forever, free of complaint, and at someone else's expense, and with their sexual potency intact (see: Medicare, ObamaCare).
Anyways, the commercial very quickly degenerates from Hippie Bob and Mary's slight physical impairment (usually only 10 seconds on the disease in question), and becomes a laundry list of warnings, listing of side effects, and godawful effects of the drug in question, that you begin to wonder just why anyone in his right fucking mind would take this dangerous-sounding pill. And then you laugh.
Unless you're me -- and then you do a little research to ensure that's what being sold as the fountain of youth and the cure to all that ails you, is all that. I've done a bunch of these, and you can read them by simply hitting the Bad Medicine tag at the bottom of the post.
This time, we're looking at a bullshit arthritis "cure", yet another statin drug, a couple of over-the-counter "remedies" for your stomach, and a drug that deals with pain you only imagine you feel. So, here you go:
1. Arthri-D - Glucosamine and "Key Plant Extracts" (including frankincense -- if it was good enough for Jesus...) many herbal fillers, and Vitamin D3. It claims to "enhance your diet...and your life!", and is sold as the answer to your creaking, arthritic joints. It's a nutritional supplement of dubious value, and has not been tested in regards to ANY malady, whatsoever.
It's selling point seems to be that if you take this, your arthritis will be magically cured, although they take great pains not to guarantee that claim, in extremely small print, on the website. Oh, and the other selling point is that Arthri-D3 is made right here in the good 'ol USA in a "superior manufacturing facility that adheres to the highest quality standards".
Okay, so I guess that makes it the highest-quality crap you can waste your money on. Don't take it if you're allergic to seafood, as you will probably explode like a Palestinian on a public bus.Otherwise, the company that makes Arthri-D3 is being investigated by the FTC, and has a chief executive who has had to -- allegedly -- change his name at least once. You can't even find out how much this stuff costs unless you call the 24-hour hotline to order it. You can see the "infomercial" (running on heavy rotation on Fox Business channel on weekends) at the Arthri-D website.
2. Crestor - an oldie-but-goodie, Crestor is once again being heavily flogged on television, which kinda sucks, except for the Patrick Stewart voiceover.
This is another statin drug which is supposed to help you regulate your cholesterol levels. I've taken statin drugs in the past, and I'm convinced that they work by simply giving you the kind of explosive diarrhea one normally associates with Mexico, ensuring that nothing you eat has time to actually stick around long enough to put any extra cholesterol into your system. After that, all statins do something strange to your liver (which produces 70% of all your cholesterol all by itself), that requires monthly blood tests and physician visits, which get annoying and frequent enough for you to believe that having the heart attack you're trying to avoid just might be a better and cheaper option, after all.
If you take Crestor you can look forward to the following side-effects besides the crippling, dehydrating diarrhea that will ruin your life by making it impossible for you to be any more than a quick sprint from a toilet at any time: persistent headaches, abdominal pain, weakness, persistent nausea, elevated blood sugar levels (so that you can trade high cholesterol for diabetes!), myalgia (muscle pains), asthenia, myopathy, rhabdomyalisys (breakdown of skeletal muscle), myglobinaria (too much myoglobin in your kidneys, leading to renal failure), and a host of unspecified skeletal/muscle-related issues.
See the website for details. Crestor will set you back about $150.00 for a month's supply of 20mg pills. If you take 40mg dosages, you can expect to pay nearly $200.00, and have all of the side-effects listed above at about twice-the-intensity.
3. Digestive Advantage - this is an over-the-counter product being sold as a treatment option for those with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), although it bills itself as a "Medical Food Product" on it's website, whatever that means.
Actually, all it is is something like Milk of Magnesia with some "All Natural" additives -- and a higher price. The gist behind this "Medical Food" is that most treatments for IBS don't work because the active ingredients never make it into your intestines -- where all the good stuff happens. Those other medications are all used up or mostly wasted after they enter your stomach, destroyed by contact with stomach acids, and so that you get no relief from your painful, bloody pooping and uber-menstrual-like cramps. Digestive Advantage basically puts Milk of Magnesia into a super, bullet-proof capsule that won't break down as quickly in your stomach acids, and so it is hoped, allow a little more medicine to be delivered to your lower intestine, where all that nasty IBS shit (no pun intended) happens.
The two biggest risk factors for IBS are diet and emotional state, although there are some for whom this is not always the case. Instead of taking medicines and "Medical Food Products" most people who suffer from IBS would probably benefit more from a change in diet and learning how to chill out. But then you wouldn't have the opportunity to pay for this Crap that Helps You Crap, would you?
As a society, we're now more focused on our bowels than we ever have been before, which I guess is better than our previous pre-occupation with our genitals, and we're now seeing all sorts of medications, "Medical Food Products" and contrivances hitting the market which are ensuring that your digestive system and poop chute run like the finest Swiss Watch. The Baby-Boomer generation that was once obsessed with the Erection is now Obsessed with it's Feces, just as Freud predicted, and the American pharmaceutical industry is working feverishly to meet the demand!
Who says Capitalism is dead?
The only major side effect seems to be a dramatic increase in flatulence, which might get you tagged as a threat to Mother Gaia by any committed Tree Hugger, and an occasional oily spotting in your undies. These might cause you severe embarrassment in public settings, but it's better than bloody, painful turds and torn, irritated hemorrhoids, isn't it?
You'll be happy to know that the makers of Digestive Advantage also make Gas, Daily Constipation and Lactose "Defense" formulas. Oh, joy! An entire product line devoted to your tushy!
4. Gas-X Protection- a lovely little over-the-counter supplement that will help defend you against the embarrassing and uncomfortable effects of excessive stomach gas, "with unbeatable speed". The selling point here is the terrible embarrassment that people with severe gas will often suffer; as the website advertisement is simply loaded with overwrought references to the public approbation, social isolation, and mental consequences of excessive flatulence. According to the website, your flatulence can "consume your mind, distracting you from what you are doing -- making you feel helpless". Frankly, I've never heard of anyone being so consumed by the fear of farting that they develop social anxiety disorders or ADD, so I'm a bit leary of that claim.
In fact, if you're a perpetual adolescent -- like me -- you find flatulence incredibly funny, and you love to share it. There's no joke yet devised by man that provides as much laughter as a good butt whistle, so far as I'm concerned. Why, the flatus is perhaps mankind's greatest invention: you can share it with your friends for free, it always makes someone in the room laugh, and even the deaf can join in the fun! Be that as it may, however, there are some people, for whom this is not true.
Killjoys!
Thankfully, for all of us Overgrown Children in love with the Fart, all that fun-killing, gas-stopping tomfoolery comes at a cost: you can expect massive cramps whenever you use Gas-X Prevention. Something on the order of birth-contraction-type pain, I'm led to understand. If that wasn't enough of a reason to avoid this stuff, you can also anticipate all the time you'll have to sit around and think of newer and more descriptive adjectives to put in front of the word "diarrhea" -- which is what you'll get with every dose. That's if you can manage to avoid the following: rash, hives, itching, difficult breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face or tongue. All this gas-free happiness for about $40 a box.
It's almost better to just let one rip in the elevator every once in while and just deal with the embarrassment.
5. Lyrica - This is a drug prescribed for people with varying sorts of nerve pain, usually related to diabetes and shingles, but just as often for pain resulting from fybromyalgia, which I gather is a fancy term for "pain which your doctor cannot explain by scientific means". I've known two people with fybromyalgia, both resulting from injuries suffered during automobile accidents, and I'm convinced that their "pain" is no pain at all, but rather a dependence on the opiates they were given to relieve the real discomfort of their long-ago-healed injuries. They feel phantom pains which justifies the continued prescriptions for painkillers. One woman I know required methadone treatments to wean her off the vast array of painkillers she was given. Lyrica is also given to epileptics to prevent seizures.
Side effects of Lyrica include: swelling of the face, lips, gums, mouth, throat, neck and tongue, trouble breathing or swallowing, rashes, hives and blisters of an unspecified sort. You might also experience dizziness, sleepiness, nausea, muscle pain (hey, I thought this was supposed to make pain disappear?), blurry vision, swelling of the hands and feet, and what the website describes as "feeling high", and of course, quite persistent diarrhea. Everything about modern medicine, it seems, now causes diarrhea. People who take Lyrica to control epileptic seizures can also look forward to mood swings, an increase in suicidal thoughts, and amazingly for a medicine that is thought to control them, an increased frequency of seizures(so why take it all, if you're an epileptic?).
Lyrica will set you back about $200.00 for a month's supply. You could almost afford the drug treatment program to wean you off the over-prescribed opiates you were given for your whiplash for that kind of money.
I'm currently investigating another 10 or 11 of these drugs, over-the-counter medicines and other dopey shit that are being advertised heavily these days. I'll be posting about them real soon, promise!
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