Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Election 2010: Some Thoughts...

I still have to think some more about the implications of the"historic" Republican "victory" in yesterday's mid-term elections, so I'm going to put down some general observations right now, and then come back to the subject later this afternoon (after I watch Obama's Plea for Mercy speech this afternoon).

The Good:
* Alan Grayson, a thoroughly despicable waste of gametes, lost his Congressional seat in Florida. If there was anything that stood out from yesterday's results as the both the Best Thing That Could Happen and the Least Surprising Thing That Could Happen, this was it. This was perhaps the craziest fucker in the House of Representatives, and his loss represents about a 90% return to sanity in government. Good luck in your new job, Mr. Grayson, just remember the proper phrase is "would you like fries with that, Sir?". And smile when you say it.

* In my local election, Michael Grimm beat that malevolent leprechaun, Mike McMahon, and four other Republicans from New York are headed to Congress, allowing the NY Congressional delegation to at least be able to boast "We suck far less than we did yesterday...", Charles Schumer will not become Senate Majority Leader (since Dingy Harry survived), and I would dearly love to have been a fly on the wall when Schumer -- always one to count chickens before they hatch -- had to call off the mega-Press Conference and Fireworks Show that he'd scheduled to announce that he'd be vying for that position.

* Russ Feingold, the other half of the Greatest Assault on Free Speech in American History (Campaign Finance Reform) is now gone. Good riddance, and it was long overdue. Unfortunately, your partner in crime, John McCain, is still with us, which can only mean that the choice in Arizona must have been along the lines of "Would you rather: a) Fuck your mother, or b) Blow Your Father?" in that Senatorial contest.

The Bad:
* Harry Reid survived? How the hell did this happen? Either the people of Nevada are that fucking stupid, or Sharon Angle was the worst possible candidate. I'll have to think about that one.

* Christine O'Donnell loses. This is bad because we need some more hot chicks in Congress. If that election in Delaware taught you anything it is this: even in a day-and-age when people are unemployed, the national debt spirals out of control, the country is engaged in two wars, the Federal Government has nationalized the banks, heavy industry, insurance companies and is on the precipice of nationalizing our health care, you can STILL count on legions of people being stupid enough to be swayed by accusations that your opponent dabbles in Witchcraft. Things have not changed much since 17th Century New England, have they? I wonder; if someone took a test, would Delaware still be the dumbest -- and most irrelevant --state in the union?

* John Boehner crying. That is an image that I cannot scrub off my mind with a Brillo pad.

On MSNBC's Election Coverage (I flipped between Fox and (P)MSNBC all night):

* Keith Olbermann added a new dimension to his on-air persona; Keefy usually has a puss screwed on that is reminiscent of a man who is sitting upon his vibrator while having gallons of lemon juice poured into an open wound. Last night, he added a new face: he looked like he wanted to spit, but didn't because we all know he swallows. Keith took every opportunity to deviate from the fake "Objective Newsman" routine to scatter what passes for commentary on MSNBC with unflattering references to everyone he apparently doesn't like. Especially Christine O'Donnell and Sharon Angle. He was an ungracious douche, but what else could we expect from someone who probably still sleeps with his own parents, and likes having small rodents jammed in his bum?

* Rachel Maddow is a (insert word that rhymes with "hunt", and which will get you slapped in polite company). I realize that Rachel's job is to represent the "Butch Pseudo-Intellectual Lesbian" point of view on all things political, but I do recall a time when one could -- if they stretched the meaning of the word generously -- consider her to have been "fair".

* Chris Matthews had the look of a man who had just been buggered by a rabid, three-dicked grizzly bear (or maybe it was just a Momma Grizzly with a strap-on?) without lube, and no complimentary reach-around.

* Eugene Robinson is obviously disappointed that the program of Reparations by Another Name started by Resident Barack Obama now seems set to to come to an end, and that he'll have to Resort to Plan B in order to explain this defeat. Expect Gene to start cranking out columns and whining on MSNBC that Obama's failures are all the result of a vast conspiracy in which White Conservatives somehow managed to get a (half-)black man elected for the purposes of ensuring that no other black man, ever, gets elected President of the United States again. Should have asked for cash up front, Gene, instead of taking Obama's I.O.U.

* Ed Schultz is still the biggest, dumbest, most insufferable asshole on cable television,and he's even worse when his Red Comrades go down in fiery defeat. Somewhere, I'm hoping there's a guy with an elephant gun and tranquilizer darts, ready to do the country an enormous service and hunt Ed down, so that he may be returned to the Special-Needs Rhino Preserve from whence he came.

* The notion that "Republicans must now show that they can govern" was floated about 73 times amongst the talking heads. First of all, the Republicans won the House of Representatives; democrats still control the Senate and the Presidency. The question is not "Can Republicans Govern?", but more "Why Haven't Democrats?", as they still hold 2/3 of the visible aspects of government. Had they not been pre-occupied by turning the United States into Greece -- only with turtle tunnels -- they might have actually accomplished something worth bragging about.

* On the notion that Republicans must now "reach across the isle in a spirit of non-partisanship". First of all, when a republican asks for "non-partisan"anything, he's basically asking "Hey, would you sign onto this crap so that when it fails I have some political cover?", and when a democrat calls for "Non-partisanship" it either means "I still get what I want, I just won't demonize you in public as badly as I would have", or it's a cry for mercy. Stuff "bi-partisanship" because it's the most misused word in American politics. The American People yesterday said "No" to taxes, "No" to nationalized healthcare, "No" to big government, "No" to policies that will strangle economic growth, "no" to bills that Congress can't be bothered to read before forcing them through in an unconstitutional fashion in the dead of night.

I rather doubt the democrats are in any mood to co-operate with anyone on dismantling or reversing anything they believe they've accomplished in the last two years. It's all they have to hang their hats on for 2012, after all. The only "bi-partisan" anything you'll get is where republicans in the House and Senate are able to force their democratic counterparts to swallow the bitter dregs of defeat in order to stave off defeat in 2012, and beyond. Only vulnerable democrats will play along, and when the numbers of those start to dwindle (never underestimate the power of a republican Congress to shoot itself in the foot) as we near 2012, expect to see the partisan bickering return with an even-greater fury.

* On the Notion That Obama's Speech today will Prove Once-and-For-All Whether he's a Pragmatist or an Ideologue: Were you not paying attention these last two years? Were you living under a rock? Atop a Himalayan peak where electricity and cable aren't available? Obama is an ideologue, and anything he has to say today will be simply be a regurgitation of his usual passive-aggressive ideological style ("While I look forward to working with Speaker Boehner, I will not abandon the Values and Principles that we have fought so hard to promote..."). I expect Obama will run through two teleprompters during this speech....and still say nothing.

* The most intriguing aspect of this election: Almost every candidate that Obama personally campaigned for lost. This comes a week after Al'Qaeda tried their little mail-bomb stunt. Let's see if Usama Bin Hidin' takes this clear indication of Obama's political weakness to cook something up, especially with Odouchebag scheduled to be out of the country this week (the one place where he can do the least amount of continuing damage). If I were Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton this week, I'd make sure that wherever it is that the Secret Service hides me, that refuge has plenty of reinforced concrete and is heavily-guarded.

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