Why Conservatives Fear Newt Gingrich...

I used to think I was a Conservative, but that was before I realized what the difference between a Conservative and a Republican really was. This realization didn't just sneak up on me, arriving with one of those "Eureka!" moments where the skies seem to part and thunder echoes across the valley, with the trumpets of angels heralding some great epiphany.

Five Reasons Why You Can Stick a Fork in Herman Cain…

#Excelsior502- I really liked Herman Cain, truly. To me, Mr. Cain was a breath of fresh air cutting through the rank, musty effluvium of Our National Political Scene. A self-made man, not a professional politician, with a record of success, and a homey sort of demeanor that made him downright likable from the get go.

Cain might have been somebody in this 2012 GOP nomination contest, he could have been a true contender. He might even have found himself as the eventual nominee’s Vice-Presidential choice, but alas, it is not to be. For Herman Cain, far from being the mighty planet in a crowded political solar system has instead turned out to be little more than a streaking meteor, flashing spectacularly in our metaphorical night sky before crashing to Earth with a mighty "Boom!".

Five Reasons Why Michele Bachmann Should Quit While She’s Ahead…

#Excelsior502- Pity Michele Bachmann. It must be tough enough to be a Congresscritter without the added burden of being a punching bag for the political Left in this country, it must be doubly-hard to be a Congresscritter running for national office with the added bonus of being way too easy to tag with a torrent of left jabs in the immediate seconds before the final knockout blow is delivered.

Five Reasons Why Jon Huntsman Should Be Mowing My Lawn...

...and for free.

#Excelsior502 - One of the many services we provide here at the Lunatic’s Asylum is the proffering of unsolicited opinion on topics various and sundry. One of my personal favorite past times is in serving up my cynical and jaundiced political views with a large side order of sarcastic invective, and the latest targets of my diseased political outlook have been the current crop of 2012 GOP contenders.

Five Reasons Why Rick Santorum is More Annoying Than a Parakeet on Speed…

#Excelsior502 – I hate birds. I hate birds even more than I hate cats, which is something, since I believe that in the future the only use we’ll have for them is probably as food once the Global Economy finally collapses. Anyways, the reason why I hate birds so much is because of a former paramour named Anne-Marie.

Five Reasons Why Ron Paul Should STFU…

#Excelsior502 – Presidential hopeful and Texas congressman Ron Paul fascinates me, in much the same way that Gollum from the Lord of the Rings does. Perhaps it’s simply a matter of his undeniably inspirational sense of stick-to-it-iveness, or maybe it’s the romantic notion that even in the depths of utter despair and hopelessness one can still find something noble and human in the deeply-flawed-and-ultimately-doomed tragic figure who manages to achieve some greater good against his original intent.

Handy Herman...

Boy, it's sure beginning to really suck to be Herman Cain!

Let's put this out here right at the top: I don't believe, based upon the scanty and mostly anonymous evidence presented so far, that Herman Cain has molested or sexually harassed anyone. I believe, in much the same way the lamestream, libtard press believes, that is, sans incontrovertible evidence, that Cain is innocent in much the same way as his political opponents would like you to believe that he is guilty.

Gettin' With the Times...

It was inevitable.

One day I knew that if I had ever wanted to make this collection of diseased rantings a viable commercial enterprise, I would have to get with the program and make it accessible to morons of all stripes.

I REALLY MISS GEORGE W. BUSH

You know what? I miss President Bush, and I'm tired of people still dissing him like he's some chump. Yeah Clinton was great, but who would you rather have had in office after that, Gore? Kerry?

With either of those guys as President, we would've been as lame as our neighbors by now. Don't get me wrong, I like Canada. They got free health care and poutine (which makes culinary sense). And Mexico...Mexico is warm.

Anyway, you need President Bush, like everyone else in this world does. Who else could have removed the threat in Iraq, trained the Iraqi people to defend their land, and instilled civility to a country? Who else would've given us stimulus checks in order to pump up the economy? If you don't like that, then you're most likely a Democrat...a crack-whore welfare Democrat.

Behold, my favorite President of the United States of America, in the greatest State of the Union Address ever. A speech you probably missed because you were busy hating him and wishing that your lives were miserable:




Have a good weekend...

*this post also appears at the Insane Asylum Blog*

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TEXAS JUDGE CRITICIZED FOR BEATING HIS DAUGHTER WITH A BELT

Seven years ago, Texas judge William Adams caught his daughter Hillary (who was 16 at the time) downloading music illegally from a website. So he did what any parent that believes in not sparing the rod would do. He disciplined her with his belt.

Hillary, unbeknownst to her parents, recorded the whole incident. She held on to the video over the years, but decided recently to upload it to YouTube in an attempt to make him "get help" according to her. She said that he's been harassing her over the years, and she wants him to stop. She doesn't go deeply in the details about the harassment, so I can't justify her uploading the video especially since she said the intent wasn't to get him trouble.