Wednesday, July 14, 2010

This Just In: Pakistan is The Donkey Sex Capital of the World...

Via JammieWearingFool, we find out that Pakistanis surf more internet porn, and more of the most disturbing internet porn, than just about any other people on Planet Earth. When they're not waxing the totem to images of kiddie porn and goats in sultry poses, most Pakistani males can be found yelling "Death to America!" in the streets, or lining up at the local Al'Qaeda recruitment station because they're somehow laboring under the misapprehension that they're morally superior to us decadent Americans.

This is funny for a variety of reasons:

a. You'll never find a Pakistani man in a (human) porn video, ever, because they've all been short-dicked. That's why they fantasize about 72 virgins; the virgins will never know what they're missing. In fact, I'll bet most Pakistani men have such small tallywhackers that they have to pass water from a sitting position, like women. That's why the only porn you'll ever see Paki men in will probably involve livestock, and humpbacked quadrupeds, and certainly each other. It seems that "rape video" is also very popular in Pakistan, and that's probably par for the course; considering how bad they smell, Pakistani men probably have to rape their women before they get a chance to run away.

b. These people -- apparently chronic Internet masturbators -- are building mosques to celebrate their victories over us Infidels, and moving into our neighborhoods in great numbers all the time. Do you really want a neighbor who enjoys child rape porn? Do you really want him to tell you all about the finer points of camel sex, or left to walk the streets with his tiny hard-on after he's gotten all excited by his fifteenth sheep-ball-sucking video of the day, and lookin' fer a place to park it? With your daughters playing outside? Hell, even with your DOG playing outside? Here's another reason to keep Muslims out of your neighborhoods (besides the smell, the occasional pipe bomb that explodes during construction, and Just Because They're Muslim); they come from a sexually-repressed society and culture, and have sex -- even animal sex -- on the brain all the time. All that "Death to America!" shit and ramming airliners into office buildings really is Sex Gone Sour, and they can't get the blond-haired, blue-eyed chicks to toss 'em one (the REALLY slutty ones, you know. All the biggest whores are blond; you see them on American TV). Look into every terrorist's background, especially the one's raised in the West, and you'll find the Blond slut sexual fantasy went seriously unfulfilled, and at least one blond chick "humiliated" the fucker at some point, and that's what sent the little bastard back to the mosque where he gets radicalized.

c. Now you know why the Ayahtollah Khomenei had to devote the last years of his life to issuing instructions on what to do with your quadrupedal sexual partners after you're done with them. There was an entire etiquette involved in fucking, killing, eating and/or passing them around. Apparently, this was a huge problem in the Muslim world way back then, and the advent of the Internet has made it infinitely worse. Now instead of "enjoying" German Shepherd porn as an occasional guilty pleasure, a retreat from the work-a-day world of beating your wives, honor-killing your daughters, spray-painting anti-Semitic slogans on every wall, and praying 11 times day, now thanks to the Internet, you can watch Moroccan Camel Scheisser videos all day long, at your convenience. Why, it's practically hot-and-cold running donkey sex over there. Hey,did you ever notice that the two countries with the most donkey sex (Pakistan, Mexico) also happen to be the biggest shitholes on Planet Earth? Someone should study this phenomenon....

Really, these are the people President Obama is apologizing to? Trying to appease and "engage" these sorts of people? Quite frankly, I'm wondering why we aren't shipping MORE animal porn over there, and keeping the little fuckers so busy jerking off that they don't have the time or energy to trade shots with the Marines. That would be a surge of a totally different kind.

These people are too fucking sick to be left alive.

Update: Turns out that I was right about Pakistani men having to piss like women. In fact it appears as if the entire Middle East does.


Anonymous said...

All that pulling the pudding would leave them weak and lethargic too. Not to mention the impaired vision and hair on the palms.

Anonymous said...

I heard they duck donkeys