Friday, February 26, 2010

Charlie Rangel: Busted...

Charlie Rangel was pronounced guilty...of something....but still got a pass from his friends on the House Ethics Committee (which never met a gross abuse of power by a democrat that it couldn't find a way to justify it). But, the damage is done: Charlie Rangel has finally been exposed for what he is: a tax cheat, a moocher, a liar, a criminal. The unfortunate part is that in the district Rangel represents, no one reads newspapers (I doubt many can read at all) and no one bails out on a Brother unless there's some money in it, so he is probably a safe re-election bet.

But, the Marginalization of Charlie Rangel has begun. Even his fellow dems are calling for his head as Chair of the Ways and Means Committee. The only person who will dump Charlie faster for personal gain than his constituents would definitely be Nancy Pelosi. You have to marvel at the democrats (small 'd' intentional) though: the offenses Charlie has committed are somehow severe enough to warrant punishment, the loss of his chairmanship, but not enough to have him tossed from office altogether. Amazing how that happens, isn't it? But, perhaps I'm not so finely versed in the art of politics (bullshit), and it's subtle nuances (vote-buying) as they are.

This is shaping up to be a good week for NY State, politically. Charlie is finally busted, then
Our Blind (in more ways than one) and Accidental Governor, David Paterson, is eschewing an election bid after being involved (allegedly) in the intimidation of a former girlfriend of one of his trusted aides so that she would not file for a restraining order against the lout. Unfortunately, the asshole won't do the right thing and quit. It's amazing that he's had the time to harass this woman considering that it's also alleged that he was screwing the hired help in broom closets, snorting coke every fifteen minutes, and sending the State Police out to do all sorts of errands, inane and slimy and of questionable legality.


There's now a supposedly-fire-and-brimstone-small-government-republican who wants to jump into the race for governor now, which is something good; before your choice would have been limited to strictly Patterson (bad) and Andrew Cuomo (vomit-inducingly bad). Neither man could lead a three year old to the crapper, and both are so besotted by the filth of New York advocacy politics, that either one would have been an unmitigated disaster of Obama-like proportions. The other 49 states might get together, taken a vote and demanded that NY saw itself off the continent if either of these guys gets into the Governor's Mansion. Paterson is there solely by accident -- Andrew Cuomo used to play Matchbox cars in the foyer. Perhaps if this guy (The Republican, and sorry, but I can't be bothered to look up his name right now) can breathe without mechanical assistance and has 20/20 vision-with-corrective-lenses, he might actually win.

It's a sad commentary that in retrospect, it's apparent that David Paterson couldn't hold Elliot Spitzer's socks. You have to be really bad to evoke a backhanded compliment on Spitzer's behalf like that.

The other day during the Toyota Inquisit....errr..."Hearings", Representative Adolphus Towns, one of the dumbest members of Congress, showed himself to be a fully-bought-and-paid-for shill of the UAW and Government Motors. And he did it on national television, too.He's another one who's career might have been over, if only the people he supposedly represents were capable of tying their own shoes without a government program. But now his stupidity is on public record and will achieve YouTube immortality, at least.

Now, if we could only do something about the other embarrassments in this state, we might be cookin' with gas:

Kirsten Gillibrand: the Placeholder Senator need to be the Replaceable Senator, perhaps even the Disposable Senator. I would like very much to say something nice about Gillibrand, but I'm not certain "Chuck Schumer's Boot-licking Ventriloquist Dummy...with Tits" is quite nice enough. I would compare her to something less substantial, like a hole in the air, but if I did, she'd probably turn that into some campaign about the Ozone Layer (she might actually be that shallow), and then she'd have to team up with Van Jones again in a sort of 9/11-Truther-Mandingo-Kabuki Theatre, and that's an act no one around here wants to see ever again.

Chuck Schumer: I mean, what else could I say about Chuckie that I haven't said before? He reminds me of something I occasionally pick up on my shoe in the gutter, only you can usually scrape that off. Chuck Schumer is like a dose of herpes: he's omnipresent, you regret the entire sordid episode that brought it about, it itches like hell, and you wish that you could kill the bitch that gave it to you. I heard once that Chuck Schumer had an asshole transplant, but that the asshole soon rejected him. I'm lead to understand that Mrs. Schumer is the only living being with two assholes: her own, and the one she married. Chuck Schumer is like an asshole, in that he stinks, he's full of shit, and you really don't want to hear from it all that often.

But, maybe I'm being unfair to assholes? Chuck Schumer's only real talent is getting Chuck Schumer's face on television. No matter how trivial the issue, get Chuck on your side, and he'll get himself some airtime. He won't necessarily fix your problem, but he'll make sure he makes the rounds on Sunday mornings. When Chuck Schumer finally shuffles off this mortal coil, I suggest we hold a ticker-tape parade in honor of the tumor, disease, malady or drunk-driver that finally ended his miserable existence.

If we got rid of this bunch of morons as quickly as possible, the rest of the morons who govern at the federal and state level here might actually be on notice, and we could really clean the nest of State Representatives that choke their girlfriends and use their power to avoid prosecution, or who collect money under the auspices of a charity and then steal it, treat their personal staff like slaves, even going as far as to physically assault them, the both-sides-of-the-fence lawyers who write laws without a thought given to conflicts of interest, the race-baiters, the Welfare Queen Crusaders, the Fake-Reverends-with-an-axe-to-grind, the $35,000-a-year State Legislator who somehow owns a million-dollar townhouse, the Networkers, the Insiders, The Fix-It-Men.

Flush 'em all out, and start clean. I'm not saying that telling people what they already knew about Charlie Rangel (that he's a crooked bastard) is going to do it, but it might be a really good start.

Update: That "Fire-and-Brimstone" republican turns out to be none other than Rick Lazio, Designated Loser. I call him "designated loser" because Lazio is the guy the NY GOP always taps at the very last minute to get run over by a democratic opponent. It's happened to him twice already, with one of those losses to Hillary Clinton (when you can't beat an obviously-opportunistic, carpetbagging harridan in a crusty, black pantsuit, and saddled with baggage-- i.e. a nearly-impeached, disbarred, and confessed adlterer/perjurer in Bill Clinton -- then you must really suck). Do you mean to tell me that in the entire NY GOP apparatus, there is not a single individual who might stand for governor, and the only candidate they can manage is Rick Lazio, Professional Loser?

If that's the case, then we might as well swear Andrew Cuomo in tonight. Maybe we can get lucky and some Tea Party asshole who isn't either a 9/11 Troofer or a God, Guns and Gays Bible Thumper could emerge as a decent alternative.

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