The Coming Age of Social Darwinism...

Things look pretty bleak these days if you're a Lefty. European-style social democracy, with it's cradle-to-grave mentality, it's four weeks of paid vacation (even for people who don't work), and it's generous 'safety net' of myriad welfare payments, is about to come to an abrupt end. European governments can no longer afford to pay for it all. Even the attempt by the larger countries of Europe to slag some of the expense of their enormous social spending commitments off on their smaller neighbors -- they called it the European Union, but the only thing it was ever designed to do was to make Irish laborers pay the expenses of French retirees, and Spanish farmers supply the funding to send an Italian to college for 12 years -- has failed miserably.

The riots you see in the streets of Athens, Madrid, Rome and Lisbon are the first indication that the political Left is beginning to realize that it's free ride -- intellectually, economically, politically, and socially -- is about to stop short. Why? Because it's about to be defunded by governments who will have to either practice some form of austerity, or collapse completely. And it's all about to happen in the United States, too.

Romney Kicked the Rhetorical Crap Out of Obama...

In the aftermath of last night's first Presidential debate, I found myself haunted by a somewhat disturbing, but entirely understandable, visual. It was the vision of a lost puppy being run over by a speeding freight train.

Obama lost that debate, badly. It wasn't that Mitt Romney was, as they say, on his game, or was in command of his facts, or exuded intelligence and confidence, so much as it was Obama's shortcomings being made unmistakably obvious just by juxtaposition with someone who can apparently chew gum and walk at the same time. Some say Romney hit a home run with his performance, but I figure that all he really needed to do was appear able to string together coherent sentences and win, because Obama obviously cannot.

America's Newest Trend: Alcoholic Enemas...

Experts: Alcohol Enemas are Extremely Dangerous.

Thank God we have 'experts' to constantly remind us not to do that which seems obviously stupid. I'll bet the guy who came up with that self-evident little piece of handy advice was paid at least high six-figures.

It's a good thing we're sending our children off to college in record numbers, huh? This, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what some of you have saved for all of your lives. It is what you have sacrificed or deferred vacations, dental fillings, the occasional steak, knee-replacement surgery and new cars for. It is why you have indebted yourself for the rest of your natural life with second mortgages and school loans.

All so your kids can go off to college, get a Master's Degree in Holistic Basketweaving (in only 7 years, too!), and in the meantime, discover new, exciting -- and dangerous -- things to stick up their backsides, or to do with alcohol, and preferably do both simultaneously. This is what most of you are paying nearly $60,000 a year for in the vain hope that your child will emerge from the college experience just slightly smarter than when they went in.

Men Are Pigs...

Contrary to Einstein’s theories about the speed of light, this simple formulation is, without a doubt, the true Universal Constant.

I was reminded of this time-honored rule of thumb by a snippet of conversation I heard between two pimpled guidos of approximate high school age in the local Dunkin’ Donuts just yesterday.

And Immigration is Supopsed to be a Good Thing, Because...?

News this morning of a new outbreak of SARS, this time in the Middle East.

Now, normally I could give a rat's ass if there's a new disease out there killing Muslims, who pretty much need killing, if you ask me.

But this story got me to thinking about all the 'new' diseases that have reached American shores since the trend of uninterrupted immigration went on the uptick, and the return of a whole slew of 'old' diseases once thought eradicated.

Romney Must Win to Save Supreme Court For Republicans...

One aspect of the upcoming Presidential election that has received little attention is the subject of the Supreme Court.

And why shouldn't this topic be getting short shrift? After all, we'd apparently rather argue over who has released more tax returns, or at least that's what your Obamaniac American Press would have you believe really counts, notwithstanding the debate over whether this or that act of Muslim fundaMENTAList murder is terrorism or not, our government deciding to harass and censor a citizen to appease the Arab Street, or celebrating yet another successful Obamatard appearance on Letterman. We're kinda busy, you know, debating the important stuff, and the Supreme Court is about 10,546th on our list.

Or at least it's that low on the media's list.

Romney is Right...

In a transparent effort to drum up a controversy where none exists, and doing so in such a childish and petty way that it almost makes you pine for the days when REAL Libtard journalists, like Cronkite, Jennings, Moyers, Arnett, and Rather, knew how to lie at least half-assedly convincingly in defense of a complete loser asshole of a President who had a drunk chick's chance in a redneck bowling alley on two-for-one Coor's Lite night of pulling out a squeaker victory come Election Day.

Romney Gaffes! Screams one headline. Romney accidentally tells truth and admits to being a miserably rich bastard who hates poor people and puppies! furiously spins yet another third-grade-reading level-use-a lot- of-short words-so-the-college-kids-can-understand-you denizen of his mother's basement. Romney in Trouble! assures your local fishwrap, whose circulation is dropping faster than a Chicago schoolkid's chances of achieving basic literacy.

Douchebag of the Week: The Arab Street...

This is the first time in the history of the prestigious Douchebag of the Week Award that an entire ethnic or religious group has won the big prize.

Mind you, this is no simple accomplishment given the normally very low standards of mindless behavior that are required to even be nominated. In this case, something unprecedented has occurred, and an entire people has displayed such egregious behavior that I am forced to conclude that what was once (wholesale douchebaggery) the exclusive domain of only the worst of  individuals -- a politician, a media figure, perhaps a denizen of Hollywood -- has gone viral, and infected an entire ethnicity.

Kentucky Man Sues Doctor Over Amputated Penis...

I can think of no more frightening words for a man than these:

"You have cancer...in your penis..."

Let's face it: there isn't a man alive who would not, if given the choice, rather stare down 1,000 vicious Taliban fighters armed with nothing more than a wet noodle (oh no you didn't!) and a smile, than to hear that his beloved Johnson had become nothing but a deadly tumor hanging between his thighs.

Which brings us to the next question: if a doctor told you that in order to save your life he had to amputate  your Willy, do you think you could live with the result?

Apparently, the answer for one man was a resounding "Hell NO!". Because he's suing the doctor who probably saved his life by removing his Babymaker before it killed him.

He's Finally Run Out of Excuses, Huh?