Friday, February 26, 2010

Gadaffi's Soft Jihad? Think Again...

A Jihad on the Swiss? Are you serious? Do you have a fucking clue of what you're up against, Colonel?

The Swiss, for nearly 500 years, were the most feared mercenaries on the Continent of Europe, such ferocious and skilled fighters that they still form the Papal Guard.

Every Swiss male of a certain age has an automatic weapon at home (courtesy of the government!), knows how to use it, and belongs to a militia. That would make him a threat to National Security in this country, nowadays.

The few Swiss I've had any experience with seemed to be no-nonsense, very serious, sober-to-the-point-where-it-scare-the-shit-out-of-you, and when they aren't that, they're just fucking crazy.

Don't let the polite manners, the watches, the chocolate and the cheese fool you; these guys mean business, and will kick the crap out of a third-rate-desert-shithole run by a guy who is apparently taking his life-coaching from Keith Richards.

And you know what? They have the fucking right to ban the minaret. It's their country, after all. The same for the Dutch (who also did it), and the same for the French who banned the hijab. The same for the Danes who insisted that everyone speak Danish to some minimum or get the fuck out of the country.

Western societies, Colonel, tolerate Muslims and their customs and culture. Toleration means we are restrained by good manners and due consideration for the feelings of others not to do something terrible, like burn the mosques down, because that would be bad for society as a whole. They are not required to accommodate the worst aspects of your poor-excuse-for-a-culture, nor are they supposed to tolerate it past a certain point. Because we just know that if I wanted to build a Catholic church in Tripoli just how much toleration I'd get, don't we? There's never any reciprocation from your kind, because you're a bunch of arrogant little camel fuckers with a by-now genetic inferiority complex.

I'll bet your son slapped that servant around because he couldn't get it up, and the poor lad couldn't help but giggle.

Personally, I'd like to see every mosque burnt to the ground, even Muslim dead or sent back to their sandflea paradise of origin, and the whole culture and religion go the way of the dinosaurs and ABBA -- but that's just me. Consider yourself fortunate that you don't live in my neighborhood, because we'd have bigger issues than minarets, Colonel.

I'll even go as far as to wager that if you asked the average Swiss-on-the-Street if he even wants Muslims in his country, better than two-thirds would say they'd prefer rectal cancer to The Religion of Peace.

Consider yourself lucky that the world tolerates the poison you call religion, and that there aren't more frequent incidences of mobs bearing torches and pitchforks to forcibly scrub the stain of Islam from every civilized place on the planet. That sort of thing doesn't happen because we happen to be civilized people; that's why Muslims in the West usually have to STAGE such events so that they can play martyr.

I can promise you that if you keep up this "I declare jihad because my boys are impotent and abusive" bullshit, you won't have to stage them anymore. You may think the Swiss a target as soft as a banker's suit, but you'd be very unpleasantly surprised, Colonel.

I suggest you teach your sons better manners, buy them Viagra, and keep them at home shtupping the goats before they break someone else's laws, or worse, have their victims turn on them and seriously kick their asses; you people aren't nearly half as tough as you think you are.


Sabra said...

Matthew, Matthew, Matthew... There you go again with the poor animals. First it was wild boars, now goats. Why do the poor goats so often have to be victims?

You asked in an earlier post what we, as your loyal readers, want. I come here to read pieces like this, written with such a sharp edge that I flinch at the end of some sentences. I just know that if Col. Crazy Eyes [I have a most difficult time taking the man serious - he is just too f'ng weird and creepy to me] were to read this it would sting. As in, "Ouch. That's going to leave a mark."

You were pretty much spot on! Hard to disagree with you about anything other than encouraging his son to continue boinking the goats.

Matthew said...

Okay, that's one vote for complete and unfettered snark, and one for saving the animals from the ravages of horny Muslims.

I can work with that, I think.