Of Bicycles and Horny Moose...

Two totally unrelated stories that I will quickly...ummm...relate...for you by the time this is finished.

Really, I promise!

The first story has to do with the rank stupidity of government here in New Yorkistan. Our Reichsfuhrer...err, Mayor, Michael Bloomdouche...errm...Bloomberg is known to be a freak when it comes to bicycles. In fact, Mayor Mind-Everyone's-Business is a freak, period, but that is beside the point.

Douchebag of the Week: Senator John McCain...

I wish someone would finally (metaphorically) put a stake through the heart of John McCain before next sunrise. 

His continued ability to leave his coffin every evening, suck some more blood from the body politic and return unscathed to strike again the following night is beginning to remind me of Count Dracula.

Actually, McCain often reminds me of Count Chocula -- a goofy, cartoonish, two-dimensional character on a cereal box -- only with power and an over-developed sense of self-importance. It’s time to knock him down a few pegs until he’s little more than the Count from Sesame Street.

Welcome to Zimbabwe, America...

Upon seeing this Mussolini-like pose, struck by a man, who much like it's originator, is also a shallow and hollow human being with few redeeming qualities, I find myself curiously in mind of an age old adage that goes something like this:

One bad apple does not spoil the whole bushel.

I do not know the origin of this phrase, and quite frankly it isn't all that important. However, it is necessary to view the events of the last five years through the prism of this quaint expression, for it is our curse to live in a day and age in which bad apples have become the norm and are hardly the exception.

When one looks at the metaphorical apples and bushels which represent the sum total of America's Obama Experience, it becomes apparent that old saw should be taken out of the lexicon, for it is now becoming a universal truism that today's seeming wisdom will, eventually, become tomorrow's stinking load of bullshit.

Lunatic: 1, Bureaucracy: 0

Oh, happy day! It has finally happened! I have finally been able to prove to the knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing,  unionized high school dropouts at the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles that I, your humble correspondent, do exist!

I have just received my brand, spankin' new New York State Photo identification card. The one I've been seeking like it was the Holy Fuckin' Grail for five years now. If you're not familiar with my trials and tribulations on this subject, you can read about them here and here.

I'll wait until you're up to speed....

Of Bombers, Rapists, and Immigration Reform...

By now, everyone knows these photographs; they are of the (alleged) Boston Marathon Bombers,  Chechen immigrants who came to America and somehow found it necessary, for reasons yet to be discerned, to plant shrapnel bombs that killed three and wounded another 180.

They then, as you  know by now, led police on a four-day chase that ended with a cop shot dead, another severely wounded, a city locked down, and a massive house-to-house manhunt complete with gun battles and more explosions than a Bugs Bunny cartoon that could have killed and maimed many more.

Explosion at Boston Marathon; Obama Pulled off Golf Course for Photo Op...

After the explosion at the Boston Marathon this afternoon. President Obama was pulled off the golf course to announce sweeping new Marathon Control Laws, a National Marathoner's Registry, and tough, new mandatory background checks on the purchase of all Sporting Goods.

Seriously, from the pics I've seen so far: no major structural damage, no smokin' hole in the ground like you would expect to see from a gas main explosion. Wondering if our Exploding Cousins from the Desert are involved?

Arguing With Idiots...Or Liberals...

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Just What Staten Island Needs...

...like a hole in the collective fuckin' head. Pictured here is an artist's rendition of the newest pile of steaming dogcrap to emerge from the fevered imaginations of New York City pols, and their sycophantic douchebag lapdogs, the real estate developers. 

Whenever there's this sort of stupidity proposed for New York City, you can bet your bottom dollar that a real estate developer came up with the idea, and he's spread enough money around the halls of power to get it taken seriously.

Only in this case, the real estate developer is shocked to discover that no matter how much money he's put into some politician's pocket, they somehow turn out to be the worst business partners one can imagine. Fuck him, serves him right.

Par For The Course In New Yorkistan...

Shocker: Dem and GOP pols caught in bribery scam to get Dem elected Mayor of New York City on GOP ticket...

Now, what's so shocking is not that a democrat would try to bribe his or her way into office;they do this all the time, as a matter of course. Especially in a place like New York, Chicago, Detroit or Washington, D.C., because the sort of democrat those places seem to breed would never see a democrat elected if he/she had to rely on, oh...their wits, or telling the truth.

I'm Back!

Apologies for the extended hiatus, but I have been working on two novels (and some other stuff) that I hope to self-publish very soon.

My first novel, The Deer in the Headlights, is a work of political fiction based upon contemporary events. It should frighten the fuck out of you, and I'm hoping this is it's main selling point. It's currently in editing, and a few review copies will soon be sent to friends and associates for feedback.

My second attempt at a novel (Tales of the Rubyrun: The Axeman) is still in production, and might appeal to fantasy/sci-fi readers. Won't be long now, I figure.

Thanks to everyone who continued to show up here in the hopes of finding some new tomfoolery and diseased commentary. The traffic was appreciated!