Wednesday, March 24, 2010

It's Time To Start Punching Some People in the Mouth...

This just happened on FoxNews (video to follow later);

One of those panty-bunched, bedwetting, liberal, God-I-Want-To-Kick-Him-In-The-Balls-If-Only-He-Had-Any, disgustingly-metrosexual retards from California (he was identified as Ken Yeager, County Supervisor for the City of Santa Clara) was just on talking about his newest ploy to Save the World from Itself.

He has introduced a law that will ban toys from Happy Meals.

This jerkoff believes that the toys are designed to bring children into contact with fatty, high-sodium, high-sugar foods, which will eventually kill them all in the most grotesque and horrible fashion imaginable, and that parents are so overwhelmed that they might not be able to make good decisions about their children's health and food choices. So the State must help them. How the State will "help them make better decisions" is by removing the temptation to the children -- i.e. it will ban something.

I've told you a hundred times: once you give the State the responsibility for providing you Health Care, it now demands that it get to regulate your behavior in return. Some people still haven't gotten the message, I guess.

I'm not advocating anything -- well, really, I am. But since what I'm advocating only applies to people who have already decided they have the right to deny me my rights, or who consider me nothing less than a knuckle-dragging nosepicker who needs their enlightened ideas to keep me from sticking my privates into a wall outlet. I detest people like you. I hate you. If I could offer you all to Usama bin Laden and his band of cutthroat goat-fuckers, I would. In a heartbeat. I wouldn't even take any money for it. I'd consider it a public service.

There. Now,about these people...

Firstly, they're assholes. Worse, they're busybody assholes. They are incapable of minding their own business. This is either because of very poor potty training, or because they believe they have the right to dictate behavior to others. No one conferred that distinction upon them, except themselves and the other pompous fartsniffers they pal around with. These people need a beating. A severe one. And this time, it's not a metaphorical beating that I'm talking about, it's a real, honest-to-Gosh, physical ass-whipping. They are pretentious little snotbags who can't take a polite "Thank you, but I'd like to live my own life for a bit, if you don't mind" for a hint. If they reserve the right to examine and explore and comment upon every aspect of my life, unbidden and without permission, I reserve the right to smash their faces.

Secondly, all you're really doing is punishing the kids. Getting the toy, whether at McDonald's or in a box of Cracker Jacks, is usually a joyous occasion. It's an experience; it's a happy time, it's fun. . The toy is not the problem. The food isn't even the problem (not that it's the best for you, I know). The problem is that the kids are spending all of their time sitting in front of beeping little boxes playing mind-warping games (I know they warp minds; they've warped mine!), instead of being outside running around, jumping, playing and skating and otherwise being physically active. They don't get any physical education in school. Mostly because the money that would have gone to Phys Ed. instead went to teach them how to use condoms and taught them the finer points of anal sex. The Safety Nazis then outlawed monkey bars (that's when the Racial Hustlers didn't object to the term "Monkey Bars" and had them dismantled before the Safety Nazis did), and that was way before Dodgeball suddenly had life-altering, incurable psychological effects that used to be attributed either to rape victims or war survivors.

Thirdly, if one of these peckerheads isn't scooping up his missing teeth after he makes one of his typically-tightass "suggestions" that requires the force of law, heavy fines, and new revenue stream for the State, he'll continue to do it again and again. He'll invent new "problems" that he can put his superior and socially-conscious brain to work on, and the next thing you'll know, you won't be able to use soap (it winds up in the rivers, lakes and oceans, you know). Tieing your own shoes will become the province of the Government and local school board (children who can't tie their shoes by age 12 suffer horrible self-esteem issues which will have to remedied with Velcro-lock shoes, which will later be banned because Velcro doesn't decompose in a landfill). You'll be banned from saying "God Bless You!" to someone -- a courtesy and measure of politeness -- because of the implied religious bias inherent in the phrase.

Finally, there was never a problem on Planet Earth that couldn't be solved by a good, old-fashioned knuckledusting. Ever. I have spent half my life in bars (sadly) and I can tell you this; I have seen even the worst of enemies suddenly become friends after they've gotten drunk and kicked each other's asses up and down the street. There's a transformation that takes place after the fight is over; people begin to respect one another after they've been in a tussle. Boundaries get established, and very often, friendships bloom and a deeper understanding is achieved. You don't think so? Ask every man in your life if this isn't true; Men who hate each other can often become friends-for-life after they've tried to beat the shit out of one another. It's a rule in barrooms, you know.

I'd like to be very friendly with people like Mr. Yeager, and make a much greater effort to understand them. How about you?

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