Sunday, March 21, 2010

It's the Strangest Thing...

...but recently, people from my past, many I have thought long gone, have been steadily creeping back into my life. Some have been welcome, and genuinely missed. A greater number insist on skulking on the electronic perimiter, making repeated requests to find my e-mail addresses, phone numbers and other personal information, and nothing with them.

A couple of you came here a time or two, as well.

A bevy of ex-girlfriends have been looking me up online. One even went so far as to hire a private service to conduct the search. Having once been an expert on computer systems and data collection and processing, I'm well aware of when someone starts making electronic enquiries into my life. Why this is happening now is quite puzzling, and since I'm not making much of an effort to respond to their efforts, I'm not very likely to ever find out. There's a reason you and I are not together anymore, Sunshine, and I can promise you that the majority of the times when You and I parted, it wasn't my idea. Now, in one case over 20-years after the fact, you're all looking for me?

Is it just idle curiosity? Is it regret? Is it just that you have too much free time on your hands? Are you dying and think you'll find some sympathy here? Do you want to gloat? Whatever it is, you'll not have whatever itches scratched by making half-hearted efforts; I know you're out there, and looking, so have some guts and finally say whatever it is you want to say. Otherwise, you're just doing the internet-equivalent of ringing my doorbell and then running away, which I find aggravating and rude.

Gee, I hope I'm not about to be presented with 17 paternity suits! I might have to pull an Edwards and start stealing dirty diapers.

So, to all the the Terries and the Beths, the Janettes, Joys, Jessicas and Jackies, from the Elizabeths to the Annies and Ailenes -- I see you! What is it that you want?

And no, that's not an exaggeration; that's just in the last two months. It's like as soon as they hit their 40's, all of them are suddenly wondering what became of me.

If you went this far, you might as well go all the way and finally write that e-mail you know you're really dying to send-- because I don't do "hints".

Also, because it's really rude to try to pry into someone's life and yet remain anonymous.

P.S. to all my female readers: Can someone please explain this phenomenon in a way that makes sense to a guy?

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