You know, I've always held a notion that you can learn a lot about human nature sometimes by just sitting back and watching how people behave from a distance.
Then again, you could also find yourself scratching your head wondering how it was we managed to climb down out of the trees and invent frozen pizza and thermonuclear warheads when you actually stop to consider what most people are doing.
It's incredible that we have survived as a species.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Tuesday, July 09, 2013
Weiner, Spitzer..There's a Blowjob Joke in There, Somewhere...
I'm quite worried that many of you will do something so unthinkable, so mind-bogglingly stupid, so counter to your own interests, and actually take seriously the candidacy for public office (or should we say Orifice?) of one Anthony Weiner, infamous Twitter Dick Pic distributor, and one Elliot Spitzer, notorious Sex-with-a-hooker-while-wearing-black-socks aficionado.
Stronger Than The Storm, Indeed!
Just returned from Atlantic City, NJ and a weekend of depraved debauchery at the gaming tables.
My thanks and appreciation goes out to the Staff of the Revel Hotel and Casino, who did everything that was humanly possible to make our stay (Tess and her late-husband's mother came with me) a true delight, even if you can't smoke in the room you've paid for.
My thanks and appreciation goes out to the Staff of the Revel Hotel and Casino, who did everything that was humanly possible to make our stay (Tess and her late-husband's mother came with me) a true delight, even if you can't smoke in the room you've paid for.
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
The Jihadis Are After Me...
There has been an increase in traffic to this website from a particular Arab website.
I figure I can expect either a lawsuit or a letter bomb just about any day, now. I seem to have caught the attention of some official-sounding Arab organization, and it appears as if they have been searching this site for the term, of all things, donkey sex, in all it's permutations. Among other things.
Which tells me that whoever is doing the searching is probably in Pakistan,or a Pakistani living in the US, because according to Google the only country that routinely registers more online search engine requests for donkey sex than Mexico, is Pakistan. They're also Number One in gay porn and rape video.
But that's only because they can't be Numero Uno in economic productivity, production of Nobel Prize Winners, or Personal Hygiene, and mainly because Cricket -- the only thing they are good at, besides exploding -- is gayer than Ru Paul.
So, I can expect a cease-and-desist order or a visit from an "Imam" pretending to be reasonable, I figure, real soon.
The group doing the snooping, from the limited research I've done, is some sort of Pan-Arab clusterfuck of the sort that has been championed by the likes of Abdel Nasser and Saddam Hussein, which is to say a Pan-Arab-Ba'athist-Nazi sort of coalition of disaffected camel fuckers from every corner of the Islamic shithole states. Given this sort of pedigree and this sort of membership, I'm confident that any assassination attempt will fail utterly if only because the car bomber sent to do me in will accidentally set himself off prematurely as he performs his final rite of ritual masturbation leading up to the "Allahu Akbar!" moment.
In which case, he'll still get 72 virgins, only they'll all look like Danny DeVito, and have at least one chipped tooth apiece (think about it, Men).
Come and get me, you sheepshagging wife-beaters! I'll be more than happy to fuck you up if you show your faces around here. Mohammed Atta couldn't kill me with a 757 and that was your first string.
I figure I can expect either a lawsuit or a letter bomb just about any day, now. I seem to have caught the attention of some official-sounding Arab organization, and it appears as if they have been searching this site for the term, of all things, donkey sex, in all it's permutations. Among other things.
Which tells me that whoever is doing the searching is probably in Pakistan,or a Pakistani living in the US, because according to Google the only country that routinely registers more online search engine requests for donkey sex than Mexico, is Pakistan. They're also Number One in gay porn and rape video.
But that's only because they can't be Numero Uno in economic productivity, production of Nobel Prize Winners, or Personal Hygiene, and mainly because Cricket -- the only thing they are good at, besides exploding -- is gayer than Ru Paul.
So, I can expect a cease-and-desist order or a visit from an "Imam" pretending to be reasonable, I figure, real soon.
The group doing the snooping, from the limited research I've done, is some sort of Pan-Arab clusterfuck of the sort that has been championed by the likes of Abdel Nasser and Saddam Hussein, which is to say a Pan-Arab-Ba'athist-Nazi sort of coalition of disaffected camel fuckers from every corner of the Islamic shithole states. Given this sort of pedigree and this sort of membership, I'm confident that any assassination attempt will fail utterly if only because the car bomber sent to do me in will accidentally set himself off prematurely as he performs his final rite of ritual masturbation leading up to the "Allahu Akbar!" moment.
In which case, he'll still get 72 virgins, only they'll all look like Danny DeVito, and have at least one chipped tooth apiece (think about it, Men).
Come and get me, you sheepshagging wife-beaters! I'll be more than happy to fuck you up if you show your faces around here. Mohammed Atta couldn't kill me with a 757 and that was your first string.
Monday, July 01, 2013
Random Thought for Today...
I'm thinking President Obama is in Africa this week just waiting for Nelson Mandela to die, so that he can be photographed as being "Johnny on the Spot", ala Je$$e Jack$on, re: MLK.
In other words, Obama is there to wave the bloody shirt and assume the mantle of Universal Uber Black Icon just as soon as Nelson gives up the ghost.
This explains a few things....especially why this "official visit" seems to be going on forever.
That is how desperate Barack Obama has become to establish some sort of "Legacy": he's willing to waste $100 million to travel halfway around the world and hover over Mandela's deathbed like a fucking vulture. For....?
Oh, right: so someone can snap that dramatic picture (we can only hope it's black and white, because that makes it ever so much more 'dramatic') of Obama paying homage to the Great Man of History while simultaneously picking up his fallen mantle. If they can get Winnie Mandela to even be within seventeen feet of Odoofus (dare we dream? Perhaps actual physical contact between the two?), it's an even better image.
Maybe Morgan Freeman can reprise his typical "Magic Negro" role in the film version?
Otherwise, one wonders why Obama didn't just mail the usual ironclad-claptrap-semi-retarded speeches in? It's not like he's had anything to actually say to these folks that he hasn't already worn our ears out with, is it?
In other words, Obama is there to wave the bloody shirt and assume the mantle of Universal Uber Black Icon just as soon as Nelson gives up the ghost.
This explains a few things....especially why this "official visit" seems to be going on forever.
That is how desperate Barack Obama has become to establish some sort of "Legacy": he's willing to waste $100 million to travel halfway around the world and hover over Mandela's deathbed like a fucking vulture. For....?
Oh, right: so someone can snap that dramatic picture (we can only hope it's black and white, because that makes it ever so much more 'dramatic') of Obama paying homage to the Great Man of History while simultaneously picking up his fallen mantle. If they can get Winnie Mandela to even be within seventeen feet of Odoofus (dare we dream? Perhaps actual physical contact between the two?), it's an even better image.
Maybe Morgan Freeman can reprise his typical "Magic Negro" role in the film version?
Otherwise, one wonders why Obama didn't just mail the usual ironclad-claptrap-semi-retarded speeches in? It's not like he's had anything to actually say to these folks that he hasn't already worn our ears out with, is it?
Sunday, June 30, 2013
What Rachel Jeantel Means to America...
The Trayvon Martin Case has caused a great deal of tumultuous debate in America, most of it of the stupid sort. What else could one expect? For the case is a microcosm, in many ways, of just what is wrong with many aspects of modern life in this country. Racial hatred, an irresponsible press, opportunistic 'Civil Rights' figures, ready-to-jump-on-bandwagons politicians, overeager prosecutors, a vastly misinformed citizenry, a legal system which creaks under the weight of it's own obsession with minutiae...
And then there's Miss Jeantel.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Things I Wish I Could Say Out Loud, Part One...
Ah, how one longs for the good old days, when seemingly no subject was considered taboo, and one could voice one's opinion without having half the room you're in cringe and go "ewwww!'.
I was thinking of this not too long ago, after the death of actress Jean Stapleton was announced. For those of you who were born into the permanently puckered rectum version of this world (that would be post-Clinton Administration), Ms. Stapleton gained lasting fame and American-icon status as Edith Bunker, the long-suffering, dingbat-but-possessed-of-a-simple-wisdom bride of one Archie Bunker on television's All in the Family.
For those of you who believe television history began and ended with the first episode of Survivor, All in the Family was a situation comedy that aired in the early 1970's and ran into the 1980's which was, to put it mildly, grossly politically incorrect by today's anal-retentive standards. Which means that no one could even think of making All in the Family in this day-and-age. Anyone who tried would be shot outside the television producer's office for even suggesting it.
I was thinking of this not too long ago, after the death of actress Jean Stapleton was announced. For those of you who were born into the permanently puckered rectum version of this world (that would be post-Clinton Administration), Ms. Stapleton gained lasting fame and American-icon status as Edith Bunker, the long-suffering, dingbat-but-possessed-of-a-simple-wisdom bride of one Archie Bunker on television's All in the Family.
For those of you who believe television history began and ended with the first episode of Survivor, All in the Family was a situation comedy that aired in the early 1970's and ran into the 1980's which was, to put it mildly, grossly politically incorrect by today's anal-retentive standards. Which means that no one could even think of making All in the Family in this day-and-age. Anyone who tried would be shot outside the television producer's office for even suggesting it.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Green is For the Little People...
I meant to write about this a week or so ago, but didn't get around to it.
It's a story about one of them Silicon Valley douchebags who has more money than common sense. Money he probably got for providing the Obama Administration with my e-mails and phone records, and from selling shares of online companies that aren't worth the paper they're printed on.
Anyways, it seems that this doofus, who is what one might consider one of those extreme environMENTALists, did something which, quite frankly, is not all that shocking, but is indicative of the real thought processes behind most people who push a Green Agenda.
See, this asshole spent a few million bucks to have a section of Redwood Forest bulldozed, just so that he could have the Dungeons&Dragons-themed wedding the nerdy little fuck probably always wanted.
EnvironMENTALism isn't about saving Mother Gaia: it's about a bunch of self-selected elites getting to rape the planet in the name of saving it at everyone else's expense, and about telling others how they should live. In this guy's world, it's probably quite okay to destroy a two-thousand year old redwood to erect a mock up of Tintagel so you can play Knights of the Round Table on your wedding day, so long as you gave to the Audubon Society, Greenpeace, and the Obama campaign. What counts is your intent, not your actions.
The Catholic Church used to operate this way. They called it an indulgence, in which a rich man's money bought him forgiveness for his mortal sins.
The funny part about the modern version, is that the very people who behave like this probably consider the Catholic Church to be the most corrupt organization that ever existed.
It's a story about one of them Silicon Valley douchebags who has more money than common sense. Money he probably got for providing the Obama Administration with my e-mails and phone records, and from selling shares of online companies that aren't worth the paper they're printed on.
Anyways, it seems that this doofus, who is what one might consider one of those extreme environMENTALists, did something which, quite frankly, is not all that shocking, but is indicative of the real thought processes behind most people who push a Green Agenda.
See, this asshole spent a few million bucks to have a section of Redwood Forest bulldozed, just so that he could have the Dungeons&Dragons-themed wedding the nerdy little fuck probably always wanted.
EnvironMENTALism isn't about saving Mother Gaia: it's about a bunch of self-selected elites getting to rape the planet in the name of saving it at everyone else's expense, and about telling others how they should live. In this guy's world, it's probably quite okay to destroy a two-thousand year old redwood to erect a mock up of Tintagel so you can play Knights of the Round Table on your wedding day, so long as you gave to the Audubon Society, Greenpeace, and the Obama campaign. What counts is your intent, not your actions.
The Catholic Church used to operate this way. They called it an indulgence, in which a rich man's money bought him forgiveness for his mortal sins.
The funny part about the modern version, is that the very people who behave like this probably consider the Catholic Church to be the most corrupt organization that ever existed.
Japan Needs Another Nuking, Methinks...
Now, I don't mean to pick on the Japanese. I have spent a great deal of time with many Japanese people (I once worked for two Japanese companies) and have found the majority to be regular Joes and Janes, and only a few would be what one could charitably call "eccentric" on one end of the scale, and "full-blown, wild-hair-up-their-asses insane" at the other extreme.
And let's face it; you have to admire a country that has soldiered on successfully in the wake of multiple earthquakes, tsunamis, utter defeat in war, and Lord only knows how many visits from Godzilla and Gamera.
Between the B-29's, Pacific Plate, atomic radiation-produced freaks of nature and at least one visit from the Top Gear guys, Tokyo has probably suffered more and worse disasters than the Carter and Obama Administrations, combined.
However, in recent years, it seems the Japanese have collectively gone batshit insane.when it comes to the subject of sex. And one need no more proof of this than a quick thought about the newest sexual fetish to strike the Land of the Rising Sun.
Eyeball licking.
Friday, June 14, 2013
"Help" Syrian Rebels? Why?
RE: The announcement by the Obama Administration that it will give "aid" to the Syrian rebels currently fighting the regime of Dictator-for-Life Bashir Al-Assad.
I seem to recall an old saying that goes something like this:
When your enemy is making a mistake, don't interrupt him.
I seem to recall an old saying that goes something like this:
When your enemy is making a mistake, don't interrupt him.
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