No! NO! Make it STOP!!!!!!!

Will this douchebag NEVER go away?

Bill Clinton Rebuts Maddow, Critics on the Left.

This line made me laugh:
　

Bill Clinton flashed irritation at MSNBC host Rachel Maddow and other liberals Monday for failing to appreciate the successes of his presidency.

Well, I lived through the Clinton years, and I'm still trying to figure
out what he means. So far as I'm concerned, Bill Clinton is the anti-Barack
Obama in this regard: the Bush the preceded HIM lefthim a world in which there was relative peace:the Reagan-Bush Team brought the Soviet Union to it's knees, and smacked Saddam Hussein around (albeit, the job was not completed). The economy was fairly good (not perfect, but not as catastrophically bad as the commentariat of the day made it out to be). Bill Clinton inherited an America where there were few problems at all, and which was poised to become wealthier than it could ever imagine.

He was fortunate in his political opponents: Newt Gingrich overreached,
and had more skeletons than a graveyard. Tom DeLay became a by-word for corruption (even if he wasn't a corrupt man, himself) and made very few friends. Ross Perot was there to play spoiler in two elections. Bob Dole was perhaps the worst presidential candidate -- until John McCain --imaginable, and it's no wonder he flogs Viagra for a livingnow. Clinton's crowning "achievement" of Welfare Reform, was a republican initiative foisted upon him by electoral fiat.

Kosovo was a War of Choice (to borrow the phrase the Leftards all apply
to Iraq), fought to protect Muslims against their Christian enemies. Fat lot of good that did us! American troops are still "occupying" Kosovo, incidentally, although Clinton said the Peacekeeping mission (a Peacekeeping mission which involved bombing a Chinese Embassy by mistake?) would only last a year. I wonder why no one on the Left marched against that war, and no one remembered to ask about "Exit Strategies"?

True, Bush I did leave Clinton the Somalia expedition ("Blackhawk Down"), but Clinton's administration skimped on supporting the troops (sending tanks was too expensive, you see), and decided to win hearts and minds before beating the snot out of the drug-fueled rape gangs in Mogadishu. American soldiers died on a mission sponsored by the United Nations, and had their bodies dragged through the streets.

Of course, when it came to bringing military force to bear upon AMERICANS, Bill and Janet Reno wrote the book at Waco. Just ask Elian Gonzolez, the seven-year-old taken by government stormtroopers from his family -- at gunpoint -- and sent to live under Fidel Castro.

Islamic terrorism was on the rise under Clinton, who's moral failings became public in ever-expanding scandals, so that the Muslim world saw him as a weak, profligate sexual deviant, unworthy of respect, and leading a decadent nation that deserved to be bombed, and not the leader of the world's sole remaining superpower. Terrorism came to America: the first World Trade Center Bombing, The Millennium Plots, any number of Allah-worshipping douchebags killing Jews in public places. Abroad, American embassies were targeted, and how can we forget the USS Cole? Even worse, his stupidity encouraged domestic terrorists (Timothy McVeigh) to perpetrate the deadliest terrorist event on American soil...until an at-liberty bin Laden got around to unleashing 9/11 upon us.

All Clinton did in response was to destroy an aspirin factory in Somalia, and his refusal to take custody of -- or assassinate -- Usama bin Laden something on the order of seven times, lead to the death of nearly 3,000 Americans on their own soil.

In the final analysis, Bill Clinton's only legacy is his wife. Take that for what it's worth.

When Leftards criticise a Clinton, it's usually because they saw in Bill -- the First Baby Boomer President --the chance to reclaim the Flower Power Hippie Dream of their (misspent) youth, and he singularly failed them in this regard. Not only that, but he made a mockery of all they believed in, especially Women's Rights, although the Feminists never seemed to abandon the (alleged) Rapist-in-Chief. Abused women never leave their man, you see. Those failures lead to Leftard frustration, and the frustration, eventually, led Lefties into the arms of Barack Obama -- who has probably done more to discredit that hippie dream and push it even farther into the unimagined future than even Clinton did.

And yet, Clinton prospers. He's gotten fabulously wealthy on the back of that Baby Boomer Dream, and sold them out. That's why they hate him so much.

Someone ought to tell this douchebag that he's should STFU and enjoy his retirement.

He's indeed fortunate not to be in a prison cell, or pushing up daisies for his past stupidity.

Some People Shouldn't Be Allowed to Breed..

Via JammieWearingFool, we get the story of Baby Hitler.

There are some people who aren't cut out to be parents. They either don't have the proper morality, or the correct sense of responsibility. Or, maybe like this mother, they're just dingbats who happened to get pregnant and had nothing better to do.

One gets the idea from reading the article that this woman, a) takes herself way too seriously; she's an artiste, you know, and b) has absolutely no scruples about exploiting her child in order to advance her "art". For that reason alone, her child(ren) should be taken from her, and she should be horsewhipped in the public square. That's before we even get to the photographs she took (see the original article), all in obnoxiously bad taste.

Children should never be used as props for their parents' politics, idealism, stupidity or mental illness.

Reason # 11,206 Why Your President is an Asshole...

Okay, I've just turned the television on, and once again The Savior of the Universe is on television complaining about Insurance companies, beating the bushes for his ObamaCare monstrosity. He's using the same old strawman arguments about "the old lady who gets screwed by her insurance company" and "paid the highest deductible, but got rotten service" and was ultimately "dropped for a pre-existing condition" and all that tommyrot.

Listen, I have first-hand knowledge of what it is to be fucked royally by an insurance company, but I can console myself with this thought: when they were picking up my bills, 90% of my medical expenses were paid for, and I still got 60% of my yearly salary -- tax free -- for almost two years afterwards.

And I paid a lot for that level of coverage, Mr. President. I was recently looking at an old paycheck, and I was paying just a hair over $2,400 a year for that policy, and Lord knows how much of that tab my employer picked up. The lesson: if you can afford to pay for it, you can get awesome coverage.

The problem is that there are people who can't afford that level of coverage, and the reason they can't is not because the insurance companies are out to screw them; it's because they can't earn enough to pay for it themselves. The reasons they can't earn enough to pay for it are varied, but I can promise you that at the top of the list are: uneducated (because the Union-run public schools do such a good job!), lazy (why work when you can claim aggrieved minority status, or just engage in serial pregnancy and get free money?), receiving welfare for the second or third generation, criminal, in the country illegally, have never held a job in their lives.

What Pelosi and Reid have wrought, America wants not. I don't know how much clearer that can be made without an angry mob gathering outside the White House with torches and pitchforks. We can't afford it as a country, and the economy at present is shrinking, not growing, and so it's not likely to be a winner at anytime in the foreseeable future. Drop this subject, Mr. President. You should be paying attention to more important things.

Yet, they can't seem to help themselves, these Obamatards. They keep pushing and pressing and trying to sell it to us. They think if they send The Won out into set-piece little dramas where he is surrounded by vocal supporters (the lazy, halt and stupid, the Union slobs who can afford their own insurance but want it for nothing, anyway), and keep putting them lofty speeches into the Ol' Teleprompter for him to vocalize -- that if he just manages to seem somewhat "Presidential" -- then this pig will manage to fly.

Someone's been watching too much "West Wing", methinks...when he hasn't been following strange men into the shower, allegedly?

None of this makes Barack Obama look "Presidential". Today will be, I think, like his 50th Potemkin Village speech on "health" "care". I still don't know what the heck he's talking about, except that a long-standing American libtard tradition of giving shit to people who haven't earned, and certainly won't ever pay, for it, is to be continued on an even grander scale. FDR and LBJ were disgustingly parsimonious with other people's money compared to BHO. Yeah, that'll make it increasingly popular.

Get this through your heads, democrats: poor people are not terribly motivated to do anything for very long (except maybe breed, smoke crack, and commit violent crimes). You may manage to harness their numbers every so often to achieve some limited result, but you will never be able to harness them for the sort of "transformative" change you're talking about because your own actions have turned them into little more than mental slaves of the government plantation -- with rice pudding for brains, no ambition, no pride and no work ethic. You can round them all up and pump 'em full of adrenaline, but their enthusiasm will quickly fade because their attention spans are geared for "right this second" rather than "tomorrow"; this is why the class-warfare card always fails. It's why this bill will never become law. It's why you're failing now.

It's now gone beyond mere failure, and it begins more and more to resemble desperate begging. It's high-pressure, full-court press sales time; you might as well hang a sign on Obi Won that says "Everything must Go!". You can smell the fear through the television set; this man, who promised so much, has delivered on nothing. If anything, he's already on track to become the Worst President in U.S. History, and yet he's holding out the slim hope that there will be something, something, that he can "achieve" of lasting value that will set him above James Earl Carter on that list. It's beginning to look more like ego than a policy goal. But He's wrong about it all.

Primarily, he's wrong because his vision was too broad, and in the end, he left it to others with their own agendas to fashion it and put their stamps upon it. The other reason he's wrong is because none of this crap over "health" "care" is what a President needs to be doing, nor a government. Do you realize that while the American economy tanks, we've spent fifteen months talking about nothing but this stupid bill?

On the one hand, we should be thankful the assholes in Congress have been preoccupied by this monstrosity, because who knows what other nonsense they may have cooked up if they had had more free time. On the other, BHO has frittered away one third of his presidency tilting at windmills. And if you'll allow me a third hand for rhetorical purposes, The Obama/Pelosi/Reid Frankenstein Bill has probably done more to damage the democratic (small 'd' intentional) party for the future than any tax-cheating, boy-fondling, bribe-taking Congresscirtter ever could.

This bill is the Titanic, and when it finally goes down, it's taking everyone with it. You know it, I know it, anyone capable of breathing without mechanical assistance (would that be covered?) knows it; why doesn't Barack Obama? Either he's stupid, or he doesn't care. I don't know which is worse.

Douchebag of the Week (3/10/10): And the Winner Is...

The Oscars.

This is the first time that the Honneurs de la Douchebag will be not have been bestowed upon a particular individual, but rather upon a cultural phenomenon.

I did not watch the Oscars this year. Again. In fact, I have never watched them of my own free will (I believe the last time I had no choice in the matter, "The English Patient" was the movie everyone creamed over. I can't even begin to imagine how long ago that was. Full disclosure: the only movie nominated that I actually saw was "Inglorious Bastards" which was fun, but not "Lord of the Rings"-great.). If given the choice, I could easily, even thankfully, see myself spending the three hours of the Oscar 'ceremonies' happily on the receiving-end of a root canal. With no anesthetic. And the dentist gaining access to my mouth through my alimentary canal. It would certainly be a much more productive, fulfilling and entertaining use of time.

Because at the end of the day, the Oscars do not celebrate much of anything, in my opinion. There will be some who will disagree and point out that there is an art and skill to acting and filmmaking, and yeah, perhaps there is. But in the grand scheme of things, they aren't arts and skills which make much of a real difference in anyone's life; they don't cure anyone's diseases, they don't advance or improve the human condition, they don't feed the hungry,comfort the lonely, bring dogs and cats closer together.

The ceremony itself is a disgusting display of conspicuous consumption that is heavy on display, loaded with conspicuous and totally all about consumption. It's wickedly over the top. Hours before the actual 'ceremony' are devoted to watching skinny bitches in expensive dresses made by fag designers you've never heard of march up and down a red carpet in full, capitalist-in-red-tooth-and-claw finery; jewels hanging from their ears and navels, the gemstone-encrusted shoes, the hundred-thou dress paired with the million dollar diamond. All gladly and peacock-proudly worn by people who very often speak out forcefully (and ignorantly) about the selfishness and greed of Western, particularly American, civilization with nary a thought as to the poignant hypocrisy on display at that exact moment, and under those exact circumstances.

The Strutting Strumpets are followed about by legions of cameramen and on-air commentators who ask vapid questions that All the World Wants the Answers To (do they? Really? Does anyone really care what Miley Cyrus or Woody Harrelson thinks about anything? And if you do, are you being medicated for it?). The level of coverage can only be compared to what happens with the Super Bowl; I should be surprised to find out that there wasn't some corporate dickhead suggesting that this year's Oscars be shot in Super High Definition, and include Super-Slo-Mo replays of the Red Carpet. There are hours of "pre-game show" for this thing which is nothing more than hours of airtime devoted to complete speculation about every inane detail of the lives and tastes of people who are ultimately blank-slates. We don't devote this much airtime or 'serious' discussion to matters that actually mean something; people will hang on Jennifer Lopez's every insipid word, so long as she stands upon a red carpet wearing a dress that looks like someone attached a shower curtain to at the last minute, but few actually know what the hell their government does or how it does it.

It's a sickening display of self-appointed 'heroes' slapping themselves on the back, and celebrating their own self-absorption in a three-hour orgy of nothingness... With dance numbers. Why, in this day and age, do we still have dance numbers? It's nothing but the "Look-at-Me!" crowd revelling in yet another opportunity to Look-at-Them. Only better dressed.

It's no wonder that the best part of the Oscars (so they say) usually occurs AFTER the ceremonies themselves are all over. That's when the Gay Men come out to tell you all about the fashion faux pas of those who attended. Most of them can get snotty and vicious, but it's really just a reflection of the underlying Gay Vibe of the Oscars; they care so much about what Sandra Bullock wore because all these gay commentators secretly wish they could wear it, too. And not get beat up for it. Any man who complained that so-and-so looked perfectly awful in so-and-so's dress is really quite upset that it doesn't come in a size 15 so that he can play Cinderella, too.

It's apropos that the ceremony in which the 'winners' get a statuette of a naked man clad in gold should be examined in minute and exquisite detail by gay men in an forced, campy approximation of high menstrual dudgeon. It's the most appropriate annual post-mortem to any event yet devised by human beings.

Hollywood still takes itself seriously, but it really shouldn't; it's bailiwick --entertainment, the creation of fantasy and the means of intellectual escape -- have been superseded by the video game, the home computer, On-Demand cable and satelite television, video and audio streaming. Home entertainment is now easier, cheaper and more varied than ever before, and Hollywood ever-less necessary. Like the Flint spearhead, the Chariot, the idea that Sin is the cause of Pestilence, the Horse and Buggy and the Post Office, Hollywood has been made irrelevant by the advance of technology.

And even when there is a movie that makes some money nowadays (like Avatar), it turns out the majority of the action is really CGI-generated apparition, not an actor to be found, and the whole resembles a video game fantasy milleaux more than it does anything else. Technology is making the actor redundant; we live in an age of Na'vi, Shreks, Buzz Lightyears, CGI-generated armies of Orcs, Transformers, Demons, Roman Legionaries, whatever. You don't even need to go "On Location" to film anything anymore; you can just shoot a movie in front of a Green Screen and fill in your scenery later on. Who needs actors, who needs crews of hundreds of highly-paid union hacks when you have computers? And the what the fuck is a Best Boy anyway? It sounds even gayer than Oscar himself.

But, traditions die hard, don't they? And the tradition of self-absorbed, conceited morons who make their wholly-exaggerated and undeserved livings pretending to be other people in expensive garb receiving awards from the other ranks of spoiled rotten pricks, is a tradition that dies even harder.

And in a foretaste of things to come, the broadcast of the Oscars here in New York was held hostage to a dispute over money between Disney, the company which owns the rights to the broadcast, and local cable television systems which pay Disney a fee to retransmit it. Disney felt they were getting short-changed and threatened to withhold the Oscar broadcast from certain cable systems this year...unless they coughed up the cash... cash which comes from the customers who watch the Oscars. In the end, Oscar is not a celebration anymore; it's all about the money.

The Oscars are not only an orgy of ugly vanity, nonsense, political correctness run amok, stupid people given far more deference than they warrant, decadent opulence and waste -- it's a vivid demonstration of corporate extortion.

For being unaware of your Irrelevancy, Stupidity, Inanity, Conceit, Greed and Gayness, I give you, The Oscar Ceremonies, the Douchebag of the Week Award.

Screw the envelope.

Sometimes Life is Just Too Funny...

A self-help author who writes books for bitter single females is now suing her former lover for getting her pregnant and then dumping her.

What's funny about this? Well, nothing really. Except this: the woman, Karen Salmonsohn, is the author of "How to Make Your Man Behave in 21 Days or Less Using the Secrets of Successful Dog Trainers".

She's also the author of ""How to Succeed in Business Without a Penis". I assume she meant that as in 'not having one physically because of your gender' and not as in 'without having to screw the Boss'.

You think someone has an obvious problem with men here, or what? I know women like this and they harbor a strange psychosis about men; there's a man somewhere in their past who wasn't perfect (he probably wouldn't pay for her nose job, indulge her selfish desires, refused to worship her, or something similar, but always, She Didn't Get Her Way), and she places far too much value upon her vagina (understand Ladies, there are millions of women simply giving it away. This is what Feminism has reduced many of you to. It's no longer the Pearl of Great Price; You can almost get one in Wal-Mart now.). She then learns to use sex as a weapon, a means by which to manipulate the next poor, dumb asshole She comes across into doing what She wants them to do. When Life disappoints her -- as it usually will disappoint a Cast Iron bitch with both an unrealistically-high opinion of herself and a weaponized vagina -- she writes books that the other bitter bitches can read and chuckle and nurse dreams of revenge upon their tormentors over.

These kinds of books are basically a field guide on how to find a complete sucker (i.e. stupid man with no self-esteem) and then fuck him over. There is nothing especially new or creative about it, as women have been writing those sorts of things since the 1960's. No doubt about it, Ladies; the key to future wedded bliss and eternal happiness is to make some poor slob who wouldn't hurt a fly pay for the sins of all the Bad Boys in your life. Bad Boys that you creamed over specifically because they were Bad Boys.

That always works out well for y'all, doesn't it? Anyways...

Judging from the picture in the article, Salmonsohn looks like she'd be an absolute pain in the ass, too. The Prototypical Screaching Bitch. I'm betting I'd have to slug her before the first date was over. At least once. I've never hit a woman in my life, but I can certainly see myself smacking her silly if I had anything to do with her.

What's even stranger about this story is that the pregnancy was brought about by IVF treatments. I guess that would be so that Salmonsohn didn't actually have to do the horizontal mambo with this schmuck, and maybe fuck up her hair and nails. Personally, I think this is a newer version of the Pregnancy Trap for older women to use. She's 49 or 51, I think the article said, and if you set out to get pregnant in order to obligate someone, the traditional methods may not work so well at that advanced age.

Big red flag for me right here:

"...Leff said he'd be "very happy" to start another family, and quickly put his money where his mouth was, popping the question weeks later with a $10,000 Tiffany's engagement ring and volunteering to pay for pricey IVF treatments straighway. The couple met each other's families, and told them they were engaged.

"There were no red flags. None," Salmansohn said.

By November, they'd made ten trips to the fertility clinic together, the suit says, and Leff offered to help her out monetarily and pay for renovations on her Chelsea apartment to make it more "family friendly." Over a six month period, the suit says, Leff "spent lavishly" on Salmansohn, shelling out over $150,000 on vacations, renovations and other assorted odds and ends. "He pursued me very enthusiastically," she said.

Leff also promised to pay all of her medical expenses and everything needed to prepare the baby's room, and said he'd support her in excess of the $150,000 she typically made during the year while she was pregnant and taking care of the baby..."

That's $310,000 before the baby is even born, and from what I can see, most of it's not even for the kid! It's her apartment being renovated, she got the Tiffany Ring, it's her lost potential income being replaced, it's her being taken on vacation and receiving medical care. Reading through that article, one gets the impression that she was negotiating her way through the entire relationship; as if she treated it as some sort of contract of business arrangement; She provides vagina, he provides cash. Sign on the dotted line, please.

I'm sorry ladies, but I don't care if you can make a mean pot roast, juggle chainsaws AND have no gag reflex, but there's a word for women like this. It begins with the letter "C" , and is so crude that even I won't use it. But WHORE will suffice for now.

And there's a word for men who let this kind of thing happen to them:

SUCKER.

Sounds like this guy maybe smartened up before this woman ruined his life and left him destitute. And now she's going to sue him and take more of his money? She's a victim? Yeah, right. But then again, this is New York State, and the courts are notoriously biased in favor of women, particularly where children are concerned.

This woman should be caged, for the protection of other stupid men with lots of money. Permanently. She gives the rest a very bad name.

Charlie's In Denial...

Charlie Rangel refuses to go, and tries that old bit where he uses weasel language to give the impression that he's really innocent and that his what-could-be-described-as-criminal- activities are all a big misunderstanding.

Sorry, Charlie. You can't polish this turd enough to make it shine again. Be a good boy now, and go to your room quietly. Oh wait, you have far too many rooms to choose from and might be confused; Would that be one of the rooms in your four rent-controlled New York City apartments, or one of the rooms in your Villa in the Dominican Republic...assuming someone's not renting that from you for some much-needed-and-not-to-be-reported-to-the-IRS-cash, of course. Well, maybe some corporate joe will come along and offer you a room...or three...somewhere in the Caribbean, your favorite. Seems to happen to you an awful lot... even if you never remember it.

Yes, I can see where this banishment thing might be difficult for you...so many choices....

Well, allow me to make it simple for you: get off the public stage you fat, bloated, lying, crooked windbag. Write a letter of resignation and submit it. Get out while you still can. Your pals have done as much covering for you as they possibly could (I mean, they're already risking their phony-baloney jobs following Nancy, Harry and Barry over the cliff on Health Care, you really can't expect them to extend themselves more on your behalf). I mean, they fixed it so the IRS wouldn't charge you crippling interest and penalties like they would one of we peasants. They haven't tried to prosecute you for abuses of power, possibly for lying to the FEC, and for being a fat fuck (soon to be illegal under ObamaCare). Cut your losses, Charlie. The longer you hang around, the more you give people a reason to dig even deeper -- and who knows what else you have buried?

There's probably so much shit that you've forgotten at least half of it.

Does it have to come to that final indignity, Charlie? Do they have to impeach you? Do they have to prosecute you? You know half a dozen Universities and Wall Street brokerage and Law Firms will pay you a shitload to sit on their boards, so why stay in the House of Representatives, wounded, an easy target for the rest of your term and perhaps in a primary for your seat when that comes up? Do the right thing and quit while you can still get away relatively scott-free. Or are you dedicated to the idea that you're in too deep/entitled to keep that seat and Committee Chair that'll make you fight for them tot he bitter end?

Save us all the drama, Charlie. We know how this battle goes: your foes lay out your crimes, you call them racists. They present the evidence for your crimes, you get on the same dais as Al Sharpton and call them racists again. You eventually piss your critics off so badly that they start to demand your prosecution rather than just your resignation, and then you're truly fucked.

Do the right thing and leave while you may still do it of your own accord, Charlie.

In Real Life, He's a Pantybunched Little Girl...

I know no one watches him anymore, but someone really ought to get Keefy Olbermann some help. Being an expert on self-delusional mental illnesses, I recognize all of his symptoms; the yelling, the hyperbole, the forced drama, the hopping up and down on one foot, face screwed into a mask that's half ecstasy-half-the-strain-of-holding-back-a-raging-bladder, like a little boy bursting for a pee.

You tell me if this appears to be a sane man. In total control of his faculties, for sure!

It's bad enough that Keef makes things up, now he has to latch onto things that other people made up, just to continue his act. Because it really IS an act, you know. It has to be: no one could be this clueless and not be in Congress, or even the White House.

Ooops, did I say "White House?". Tut-tut, Keefy might begin calling me a racist and accuse me of only wanting to be surrounded by People...Who...Look...Like...Me! I'm all a-scared, because when Keef comes after you with the racist brand, boy, you know you're really, really gonna get it! He'll call you "racist" all day long, until his voice is gone, and his molded-to-his-plastic-head haircut is all dishevelled. He can keep it up for hours, too; imagine, having to look at THAT FACE; that one that he puts on when he gets all self-righteous and smug, that looks like he's sitting on his vibrator while someone pours lemon juice into an open wound. Why, that's enough to make most men break!

Except that only Keef takes Keef seriously, and the Act is beginning to wear thin. I say "Act" because like most liberals who appear to care more than the rest of us but really don't, they understand basic economics. Keef's checkbook, and the means to continue to buy super-hot girlfriends, depends on The Act. He makes a lot of money doing this bit, entertaining the Libtards with second-grade shtick, and insult comedy about their favorite boogeymen; Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter...Why, if it weren't for people like that, people who are actually journalists, opinionists, and genuine entertainers, Keef wouldn't have anything. He'd be back in Dogpatch doing play-by-play at an American Legion Softball game.

Keef is obsessed with Rush and Bill, et. al.,because he gets paid to be. And the nastier he gets, the more the Libtards love it, and the more he gets paid for it. You really believe that any sane individual actually believes the crap that (P)MSNBC anchors claim to believe? Do you think they would even give voice to such opinions if they didn't get paid a shitload for it? Rachel Maddow, yeah, but that's only because she finds penis frightening and I don't dare delve into that mental chasm without a hardhat with a light on it, and a stout rope. I also detect a strain of jealousy in Keefy, as well, because while Keefy gets paid well, he doesn't get paid O'Reilly Scale, and that means he can't impress the girlies that he has to pay by the hour to be his girlfriend, and he can but only dream of being in the same category as Limbaugh and Coulter.
Here's my own (unprofessional, though it is) psychological profile of Keefy:

* Penis envy
* Mommy Issues
* Pathological liar
* Narcissism
* Often projects his own, secretly-held beliefs onto others
* Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
* Bi-polar disorder
* Anal-retentive
* Monomania

I also wouldn't be surprised if Keefy was a compulsive masturbator, too -- perhaps spending as much as 12 hours a day Waxing the Totem -- and he's probably tried animal butt sex at least...twice. I wouldn't doubt that his mother either refused to breast feed him, or did so thrice-daily until he was at least 8.

But the Act is wearing thin. The over-the-top, 1970's-gotcha-journalism-dramatic-mock-seriousness and sheer shrillness is beginning to instigate the Great American Pucker Factor; where the very sight of Keef makes people try to suck their own assholes back into their own bodies as a measure of disgust. Watching Keef is like pouring salt on a slug. Listening to the constant rant, the manic rave, the vomit-inducing, irrational-leaps-to-something-purporting-to-be-a-conclusion-but-which-are-only-yet-another-spurious-charge-against-someone-Keef-hates, is simply getting to be tiresome.

It's dull and tedious, and even watching Olbermann have a nervous breakdown while he spouts things he obviously doesn't believe, which are totally without merit, and for which he happily takes an inflated paycheck for, is not worth the time or effort. It was once funny, then it became disgusting, and now it's just sad.

Keith Olbermann needs professional help.

Update: Keefy rejects the invitation to see the People of Color in the Tea Party, but insists that some of his best friends are black. Nothing like accusing people of racism without any foundation at all, and then refusing to be corrected by direct evidence. Must be an example of those fine "journalistic standards" they have at (P)MSNBC.

Douchebag of the Week (2/08/10): Rahm Emmanuel...

You know, it isn't often that someone can engage in openly obscene behavior for so long and still manage to escape the notice of the Douche Patrol. I mean, Rahm Emmanuel hasn't even been nominated yet, not even once. That's either an indication that there's far douch-ier people out there, or that douche-y behavior is simply Rahm's modus operandi; he's expected to act like a douche, and so, garners no special praise nor approbation when he displays those traits.

However, it's often the case that someone will do something so extraordinary, so seemingly beyond their capabilities, or outside the range of their typical behavior, that it can't help but be noticed that someone has done something extraordinarily special, and slipped the surly bonds of workaday douche-ery and reached the very apex of douche-dom.

And the most delicious part is that Mr. Emmanuel has achieved this Great Moment in Douchebag History for simply uttering a truth.

What did he do? He called some Congressional Democrats "Fucking Retards" for not jumping on Barry Obama's full agenda. They didn't vote for Obamacare, they didn't vote for Cap-and-Tax, they won't walk the plank so that this President can go down in history as the man who flushed the American Dream down the toilet, and into the Sceptic Tank of Third-Worldom. Because America is not yet Zimbabwe, Rahm assumes those who he counted upon to make it that way must be the stupidest people on Earth.

It doesn't matter if Congressional Democrats really are Retards, you just can't use that word. Political Correctness demands it. If Ultra-Libs are about anything, it's Political Correctness. Barry's already losing them because he can't close Gitmo and get free abortions and laxatives to the masses, and now Rahm violates the Rules of PC.

Of course, Real Retards, and the people who love them (Sarah Palin was front and center, naturally) , were aghast; Emmanuel's comments were insensitive. They were evidence of a man who has no heart (He needed to call someone a retard for people to figure this out?). He should be punished upon the Altar of Political Correctness. This Administration has already has a bad reputation with the handicapped (excuse me, Handi-capable); wasn't it The Golden Child himself who made fun of the Special Olympics on Jay Leno? One incident of such barbarically-heartless behavior can be excused as a slip of the tongue, twice is evidence of an Administration with a bias against the Differently-abled.

Panty-bunched liberals tend to think in this way; everything is a conspiracy against someone.

And besides; who can blame them for being pissed off -- who the hell wants to be associated with Nancy Pelosi in the first place?

And that is just the least of Rahm' sins this week. Later in the week it was revealed (or at least the narrative is being planted in the press) that Rahm Emmanuel told Eric Holder that trying terrorists in civilian courts in New York City was a really bad idea. My memory is a bit foggy, but I think the day after "Fucking Retard" hit the news, "I told Eric, and the President, and everyone who would listen not to try KSM in civilian courts" came out. It's CYA mode 24/7 in Rahm's office. If it means Eric Holder has to get knifed in the back, then that's the price of staying alive in modern White House politics.

Mr. Never-let-a-good-crisis-go-to-waste is not only insulting the intelligence of retards, he's insulting everyone else's, as well.

For being an insensitive prick and a back-stabbing asshole, Rahm Emmanuel is this week's Biggest Douche.

The Honeymoon's Over...Now Let's Get Divorced...

The Wall Street Journal this morning reports that the Obama Mystique has been ruined. Mostly by Obama himself, but I'm sure that somehow, we'll be hearing that Barack Obama failed because America is a racist nation that couldn't take a Black Man in the White House for about the next five decades or so. Several 'scholars' will make a few million bucks on worthless books that 'study' that premise, and a new generation of poverty pimps will have a new bloody shirt to wave, and the thing will have run it's natural course and ultimately, be forgotten.

But, I think the effect that Barack Obama has had, and will continue to have, is much more profound. To start, there's the matter of what damage he can manage to do to the apparatus of government, and the precedents he sets in exceeding Presidential authority, or even Constitutional restrictions regarding the separation of powers. There will be a lagging cultural residue of Obamania that will be noticeable for a while, but eventually will fade away as people begin to realize that the whole thing was rather silly to begin with. There will be a vocal minority that will continue to believe that Obama was the Savior of Us All, but they're mostly brainwashed Hippies, dopey College Kids who will eventually grow up, and Blacks so consumed by Hatred of Whitey that logic and reason can't find a way into their narrative of racism.

In the short term, The Obama Mystique will probably serve a few useful ends; from now on, for the foreseeable future, Americans will be much more circumspect about who they vote for. They'll want to get beyond the slick marketing and Chris Matthews' tingly leg, and want to stick to the Old Script: Experience, Competence, Knowledge, and Substance. If this disaster makes the American Voter a more careful shopper, we'll owe Mr. Obama a debt of gratitude for that at least.

On the minus side, though, I think Obama's failure (and it's mostly a failure of his own making) pretty much kills the idea of another Black President for a very long time. Even one with an 'R' next to his name. Obama's brand of Black-Liberation-Theology-Meets-Karl-Marx-Social-Justice-and-Alinsky-Style-Ninja-Activism, is probably dead, at least for as long as it takes for it's practitioners to take it back underground, give it a facelift, adapt it to a changing culture, and re-emerge in another two or three decades.

The death of that sort of political philosophy is probably the best thing that Barack Obama will ever accomplish, Nobel Prizes for being black, notwithstanding.

Danny Glover: Racist Idiot...

You know, I never quite figured out when it was that the great mass of people decided that if someone is "a celebrity", it automatically qualifies them as an expert on anything. If you care to get your foreign policy punditry from Janeane Garofalo or Angelina Jolie, or you economic forecasts from someone who's only claim to notoriety is that he came in second on "American Idol", then that's your problem; just don't be surprised when people snicker behind their hands and call you an idiot.

Angelina is an actress. She makes her living pretending to be someone else. Usually someone who's never actually ever existed. That and looking good. None of that requires a PhD. I'm fairly certain Brad and Angelina don't discuss the works of Proust over the breakfast table. I'm pretty sure neither of them could tell you what the atomic weight of Vanadium is (it's 50.9414... don't ask me how I know).

That's not to say that I necessarily look down on Brangelina, or harbor doubts about their intellectual horsepower; it just means that when it comes to certain subjects, I'm inclined to believe that they are most likely to not know their asses from their elbows. I wouldn't go to either if I needed a box-girder bridge designed, and I wouldn't seek the advice of either on how best to set a fractured leg. These questions and subjects fall outside the scope of their field of expertise, which is "being famous."

Yet, there are many people on this planet who believe that their "celebrities" are somehow well-rounded, super-intelligent individuals who are possessed of a brilliance and sensitivity that is denied to us mere mortals. The truth is probably that 90% of them couldn't find their own asses with both hands and a flashlight.

As proof, I submit Danny Glover.

Mr. Glover (you may remember him from the Lethal Weapon movies with Mel Gibson, who's considered a MENSA in some circles simply because he's the right kind of Christian, you know), as the hard-bitten, older sidekick to Mel's borderline-psychotic with a gun. Be that as it may, Mr. Glover is probably one of the dumbest men I've ever heard speak on any subject. Probably because all of his ideas originate in the same place; his own racism. Danny Glover hates Whitey. With a passion.

He's blinded by his hatred of Whitey so much so that he can say -- with a straight face and no sense of how ridiculous he sounds -- that the earthquake in Haiti was (paraphrasing) caused by white guys who oppressed the Haitian people, and all people of color, and then who failed to sign a piece of useless fucking paper in Copenhagen.

So, that earthquake was caused by global warming, Mr Glover? And Global Warming is part of a conspiracy of the White Man to kill and oppress the people of color? Gotcha.

You can see the whole thing here. See if you can makes sense of what he's trying to say, because he stumbles all over it. It's good to see that someone that brilliant is also so articulate.

After all: He's a famous person, so he must be smart.

We Need More Teachers Like This...

Mike Adams explains why all men are created equal...-ly annoying.

I Think The Wrong People Won the Civil War...

I was saddened today to learn that the State of North Carolina has finally succumbed to it's self-inflicted infection of imported Yankees and instituted a state-wide smoking ban in restaurants, bars and public areas.

This is what happens when you allow several million whining north-easterners into your state; they gradually begin to remake the place according to their own whims. If they can't do it with money, they eventually get it done with votes, and if that fails, they whine...incessantly...until you give them what they want. The influx of Northerners into Raleigh and Charlotte following the technology and banking jobs, have brought you to this sorry state of affairs. You can't smoke in the state that lives and dies on tobacco?

Mark my words, North Carolina; the ban will gradually be extended. Soon, you'll not be able to smoke in front of a public building, never mind that you're outside. Not long after that, there will be great debates about whether people who own condominiums in high-rise buildings are allowed to smoke in their own home because of the proximity of their neighbors.

All the while Cigarette taxes will continue to climb, as Yankees gradually spread the misinformation that smokers burden the Health Care System, (wrong; uninsured illegal aliens and AIDS victims burden the Health Care System) which is 'underfunded'. Mostly because the same Yankees screamed that their pet disease du jour -- Juvenile Ingrown Toenails, Athlete's Tongue, Homoerotic Scrofula -- be funded to such an extent that money was diverted from basic care just to shut them up, and to show that the politicians care.

Soon, you too can live in New York; a place where you can't smoke except in a closet equipped with it's own separate air-circulation system, where cigarettes cost $10 a pack, mostly because of taxes to pay for hospitals that are full of drug addicts, AIDS patients, illegal aliens, and people who have lived far longer than they ever had any right or expectation to without insurance or savings. But it's your fault, Smokers; Even if you will eventually have that massive stroke or heart attack in your 60's that will kill you instantly, and thus save the community the burden of having you linger on for months and years, taking up valuable resources.

Things like this are ultimately driven by other motives; the first is the nerve of pushy people to believe they know better, that they can dictate the conditions of other people's lives. And then they have the nerve to say that they do it for the common good. Kathy Shaidle at FiveFeetOfFury likes to tell this sort of pretentious, presumptuous, obnoxious Soccer-Mom/Metrosexual type "You're not smart enough to tell me how to live."

The second motive is to use the process of Incrementalism to slowly erode your personal rights while simultaneously picking your pocket. Politicians cannot help but spend money -- other people's money. It's their disease (how long before that becomes 'underfunded'?). And eventually, they spend so much that the traditional sources ("revenue streams" as they say on Wall Street) dry up, and they have to find more ways to steal from the public. When they can present this theft as a positive boon for society, they're even more dangerous and dishonest. This is all about raising taxes at some point -- and then wasting the money.

And don't think you've escaped if you chew. They'll get you people next with a SNU-tax, and justify that on the basis "of an increase in oral cancers", and to keep these "gateway tobacco products" out of the "hands of the children".

It's always about "the Children." with this crowd, isn't it?

No it isn't, but that's how they fool you. It's about persecuting people they don't like, and since they can no longer persecute Blacks, Jews, Hispanics, Italians, Irish, and whatnot in public anymore, they've had to find new targets for hate but in a way that doesn't get them punched in the face; so they started picking on Christians and Smokers. If I were still in Charlotte tonight, I'd start thinking about joining one of them Civil War re-enactment groups. And then I'd start thinking about how I could get them to join me in doing it for real.

Yep, This About Says it All...

(H/T iOWNTHEWORLD.com and Lucianne.com).

Pantybunching...

Regarding all this Sturm und Drang over boys-only basketball and golfing at the White House;

a) So what?
b) Joy Behar needs to get laid; Perhaps there's a dude desperate enough for a green card out there with her name on his privates?
c) The more basketball and golf Obama plays, the less damage he can do to the country. The more basketball and golf he plays, the less time he spends taking his wife out on 'date nights' to Bali at taxpayer expense. The more time Obama spends playing golf and basketball, the less he's on TV, which means far more real information on the so-called news channels.

But the argument is that all the real power brokering in Washington happens on the greens, and that by excluding women, Obama -- another feminist in the Clintonian mode, only without the alleged serial-rapist reputation -- is failing in his duty as, first, the President for All Americans, and second, his duty as a good little lefty, to put the concerns of America's harried and slavishly-oppressed female citizenship front-and-center (get a napkin and clean up after you finish laughing at that last part).

Personally, I don't care who he plays basketball with (it's a game for pansies, anyways), and I care even less about his golf game (a game for even bigger, but somewhat richer and fatter pansies). The idea that the key to power is to ingratiate yourself to the boss on the links is laughable; everyone knows all the best business deals go down in elevators and the Men's Room (no pun intended on the 'go down' part). That simply must be true, because for 20 years during my Wall Street career, I was continually reminded that one never talks business in elevators and Men's Rooms. It was second on the list of Unwritten Rules -- right after "don't let your wife find out about Cindy from the steno pool."

Quite frankly, considering it's Obama, I rather doubt anything of importance -- or even sanity -- is being discussed anywhere, let alone on the golf course. So I rather doubt anyone is being excluded from anything that actually means something.

So, for all you lefty ladies who may find themselves complaining about the re-emergence of the Old Boy's Network, I have to say the following:

a) It can't be an Old Boy's Network, because according to leftist ideology, Black Men aren't allowed into that supposedly-exclusive membership. When you can explain why this once-axiomatic belief is no longer operative without resorting to the words 'feelings', 'cultural' and 'sexism', you might convince me that it's true.

b) Get the fuck off your menstrual cycle and stop whining. Whiners never accomplish anything of lasting value. We only placate you long enough to shut you up, anyway, you know.

c) Bet you wished you voted for Hillary right now? How's all that Hopenchange working out for you?

d) I can just see all those chicks in Afghanistan now, complaining about how they can't get access to Hamid Karzai -- because you can't play golf when you're wrapped in burlap and legally-beaten seven times a day by a husband you share with three other women, and a flock of goats. A little perspective is in order, ladies.

Update: The American Spectator has more on this... and on Maureen Dowd's menstrual howling.

Youth is Wasted on the Stupid...

Re: The G20 riots in Pittsburgh. Here's a report from the Associated Press.

Look, we all know that people have the right to assemble and protest, and as long as no laws are broken, all the better. I don't have an issue with college idiots gathering to protest capitalism (it's their prerogative, even if they're seriously misguided) as much as I wonder about just what the hell these people are thinking. I mean, don't they teach them anything about irony in college?

Here you have a mass of people who are protesting the very system that allows them to protest. What's more, I wonder how many of them notice how stupid it is to protest the capitalist system while most, if not all of them, are carrying cell phones, taking photographs of each other, videotaping the event, texting their friends during the marches, Twittering, wearing Urban Guerrilla chic (the de rigeur black clothing, Che Guevara tees and balaclavas, produced in China by people making 4 cents an hour), attending a protest that was most certainly organized using the printing press, the Internet, cell phones, Blackberries, and i-phones. Oh, and the first establishment to have it's windows broken is the Starbucks or McDonald's where a great many of the protesters probably had their double-caramel mocchiata, or Egg McMuffin a few hours before they decided the store was an evil threat to World Peace.

These kids mostly go to these things to play at revolutionary. They are (mistakenly) attracted by the supposed romance of the disaffected, but deeply concerned figure, striking a blow for equality, fairness and The Masses. You just know the great majority of these idiots come from solidly middle-class families (Marx's bourgeoisie), many of whom pay exorbitant amounts of cash to send them to a so-called 'institution of higher learning'. There, they are constantly bombarded with nonsense disguised as scholarship and indoctrinated by aging hippies. Breaking a store window or chucking rocks at police cars is not legitimate protest; it's destruction of property and assault with a deadly weapon. But no worries; they're insured, right? Oh wait! Insurance is another product of wicked, insensitive, eco-deadly capitalism, isn't it?

Those aging hippies, incidentally, are the ones who once believed they could stop a war and bring social justice by dropping acid, blowing up government buildings, and adopting a hedonistic lifestyle. How well did that work out for them?

It seems to me that if you wish to 'change the world' you could find better role models than Professor Smith, who's only claim to fame was that he managed to become stoned enough to get lost on the way to Woodstock...somewhere in Iowa, But he'll still tell you that he sat front row-center for the event, anyway. Baby Boomer's can't help themselves; they all claim to have been there, and they feel as if they're some kind of outcast amongst their peers if they can't claim to have actually attended. It's one of the reasons I'd be happy to vote for any Health care plan that promises to euthanize anyone born between 1946 and 1960 -- and then harvest their organs.

Anyway, back to these kids...

If one of my retarded offspring showed up at one of these events, I would break a Starbuck's window myself -- by tossing him right through it. Then I'd disown the little bastard and tell him to make his own way in the world. Since he's so much smarter and caring than the rest of us, this should be no problem whatsoever. Let's see how big an issue he has with capitalism when he has to feed himself with his own resources. That revolutionary bullshit would fly right out of his head.

Civilized people don't behave this way (note: The Tea Party protesters don't entice the police with riot gear to fire tear gas at them, nor do they organize marches without getting the legal permission and permits to do so), and they also don't miss the blaring stupidity inherent in a 'movement' which couldn't possibly exist without the underpinnings and products of both capitalism and democracy -- the very things these drooling nose pickers are protesting.

It's hard to take you seriously, Children, when I'm laughing at you. Grow up.

I Wanted to Puke...

Despite my best efforts to avoid it, I have been exposed to what President Numbnuts had to say t the Useless Nations....err...United Nations today.

I have never been sicker in my life.

I was only half-listening, admittedly, because the image of the abused wife crept into my head and would not go away.

There She is, with blackened eyes and broken teeth, a flattened nose and pouchy cheeks, still asking, nay begging Him to take her back. Protesting her love and devotion despite a bloody nose, apologizing for everything from having burnt the Rice-A-Roni to the sky being a certain shade of blue. If only she could truly make Him see how much She loves Him, She thinks, He will.

President Odickhead was just that pathetic today. I'm surprised that he didn't accept responsibility for American complicity in the existence of Typhoid, Bubonic plague, and Pop Tarts.

And even though Pop Tarts are pretty good, he'd still find a reason to apologize for them being full of icky sugar, mass-produced in smoke-belching factories staffed by little pink elves earning slave's wages.

That's when it wasn't all about Him, of course.

Yeah, he's closed Gitmo. He's ending the War in Iraq. He's fighting the 'good' fight on global warming. Only a matter of time before he claims credit for the Internet, too, just like another self-possessed moron we're all familiar with.

But at least Khaddafi showed up and provided some comic relief.

Maureen Dowd Calls Everyone a Racist...

Par for the course. Here's her Sunday offering, another tour de force of liberal (small 'l' intentional) crapspeak.

More and more I am convinced that Maureen Dowd is not a journalist, but rather a very bitter life support system for a vagina that no one wants anymore.

Waaahnity...

I'm coining a new term today: Waaahnity.

Waaahnity is the quality of being vain and petulant in the pursuit of a personal goal, often appearing ridiculous in the process, while still insisting that others should take you seriously.

Someone suffering from Waaahnity simply demands whatever it is they want, regardless of whether or not it makes sense, and throws a public tantrum until they either get it, or they find something else to cry about (suffers tend to have short attention spans and are easily distracted by shiny stuff). The point of the whole exercise is at this very moment, whatever if is the Waaahnity-sufferer wants must be granted, immediately, or there shall never be any peace. The Waaahnity victim will proceed to annoy you forever; belittling you and you beliefs, obstructing your own desires, annoying you in every possible way they can think of, corrupting our institutions along the way. If they can't be happy, why should anyone else be?

I would say that the Waaahnity principle is perhaps the cornerstone of all leftist political theory. According to George Orwell, all leftists suffer from a virulent strain of narcissism which is the launching point for all the gobbledygook we refer to as "ideology". They consider themselves to be the most (choose one or more):

Clever
Wise
Beautiful
Concerned
Informed
Well-read
Talented
Artistic
Special
Intelligent
Charismatic

people on the planet (usually without any evidence of such), who then wind up bitterly disappointed that no one else has noticed their superior qualities. As a result, they set out to gain some measure of revenge against the society which first failed to notice their superiority, and then appeared to have absolutely no use for them.

So they become communists. Or gay. Usually both. That's Waaahnity in action.

So, President Obama describing his political opponents as unabashed racists, God-and-gun-clinging losers and selfish ,un-American reactionaries who are standing in the way of true progress and social justice, while being unable to point to any proof of his accusations, or give clarity to any of his policy positions, suffers from Waaahnity

The deciding factor is that The Won cannot do what he wants to do because average American citizens have decided they've had just enough profligate spending an government control of anything, thank you. And when they stand up to assert their rights, they're assailed with epithets like "fake", "Nazi", "astroturf", "thug" by the Waaahnity Brigade of Obama, Pelosi and Reid.

There is but one cure for Waaahnity, and that is good men and woman deciding that they've had enough. Waaahnity very quickly dissipates in the face of simple principled resolve.